I have some bad news. I don’t really know how to say this, so I’m just going to come right out with it. I’ve been diagnosed with breast cancer.
No, I am not kidding. Would I kid about cancer? Okay, maybe I would kid about cancer. And that, my friends, is what is known as poetic justice. Cancer has a vast network of spies. Be careful what you say.
I’ve struggled with whether or not to bring this up on the blog. This is a food blog, after all, not a cancer blog. And I don’t want this to become a cancer blog (not that there’s anything wrong with that). But this blog is about my life through food, and if I censor my life too much, then it doesn’t feel honest. Plus, logistically speaking, it was going to be tricky to hide it. Sooner or later you were going to wonder why all of my dinners of late have been composed of 50% potato chips and 50% tequila. The increased unexplained absences might seem suspicious given my previously consistent blogging schedule. And the mood swings. My god, the mood swings. PMS is dreadfully boring by comparison.
So, here I am with cancer (WTF?) trying to figure out what the hell this means for the future. I have to assume that there will still be food to write about as I adapt to my new reality. We still have to eat. I still want to cook. It will be more important than ever to eat healthy. I’d like to keep things as normal as possible for my family and for me, and the blog could be an important part of the equation. But, I really can’t say at this juncture what’s going to happen. I’ve pretty much lost my appetite since I found out and most of the stuff I’ve written since isn’t fit for print, even by lowly blog standards.
On the bright side, breast cancer isn’t automatically the death sentence I initially thought it was. There are plenty of survivors who tell a happy story. My goal is to be one of them. And if I fall short of that goal, well, I’m still going to write the ending however I want, so fuck you, Cancer, you dick. Surgery is next week and then at some future point a bunch of radioactive chemical cocktails will be prescribed. Or something. (I didn’t hear any of the words after they said cancer.) I might have some posts on the topic planned for this week since I have a few things to get off my chest, so to speak. But then I have a guest blogger in the works to keep you guys entertained post-surgery. I hope to find my way back to writing eventually.
Anyway, let’s not completely lose all perspective on the matter. I mean, it could totally be worse. It could have been cancer of the c-word!