Anyone else out there plagued by relentless hiccups? Or hiccoughs, if you prefer? In my younger life, I tried every possible cure: holding my breath, spoonfuls of sugar, having someone jump out and scare the shit out of me. Nothing worked until eventually I'd pass out from exhaustion.
But surely, I thought, surely there must be some way to interrupt the infuriating cycle of spasmodic insanity short of tasering my diaphragm into submission. Lo and behold, in the spring of 1994, I found that solution in the most unlikely place: A hostel in the northwest corner of Spain. There, a stranger noticed my plight (and by noticed I mean she was hideously inconvenienced by it). I believe it was the owner of the hostel, though I honestly can't remember because I dismissed her advice almost immediately. She said to clench a pencil between your teeth while drinking a glass of water and voila: hiccups gone.
I mean, really, what kind of medical advice is that?
Naturally, I assumed it was quackery, but every hiccupping person has his or her breaking point. Eventually I gave in. What could it hurt, right? I located the nearest writing implement and bit down on it as instructed. Then I took a swig from my water bottle. Or tried, at least. It's surprisingly hard to drink water when you're unable to fully close your mouth. Water streamed down the front of me until I burst out laughing, spraying the whole mouthful all over the room.
The hostel owner was obviously in on some kind of practical joke. Is there anything more fun for Europeans than tricking dumb, potentially drunk Americans? Probably not. Or maybe my Spanish wasn't as good as I thought. Maybe she had simply said "drink some water" and had offered me a pencil to write down this important advice. Perhaps the pencil was all in my imaginings. STUPID PENCILS!!!
That's when my friend noticed that my hiccups had stopped. I froze for 15 seconds. She was right! They were GONE!!! I was so happy, she snapped a photo of the momentous occasion:
See the relief in my eyes? And the water-splattered bedspread? (I knew this photo would come in handy someday!)
Over the course of that trip, my hiccups returned a few more times, as they are wont to do, and each time the trick worked immediately (if messily). Since then, I've gotten no closer to mastering the art of drinking water with a pencil in my mouth (or pen or magic marker), but I don't care because it never fails me. I'm sure there's a logical explanation for why it works—something more to do with physiology than fairies—but I'm no scientist. All I know is the past 20 years have been virtually hiccup-free. Not bad for an obscure Spanish home remedy.
You know what also works, and is similar? You hold your arms above your head and have a friend feed you a glass of water. Of course, when you have the hiccups, no one wants to be your friend, so this pencil thing is going to come in handy!
Posted by: Sally | March 06, 2013 at 05:52 PM
What a great pic from days gone by. Adorable.
Posted by: dorimoulton | March 06, 2013 at 08:37 PM
I love it! I'm Spanish and I'd never heard of this trick... my sister invented something which also works for hiccups though -drink a glass of water from the wrong side of the glass, with your head between your knees. Yes, it's as complicated as it sounds. It works most of the time.
My theory is that it works because you're concentrating so hard on drinking upside down without choking that it re-sets your diaphragm.
I will try your pencil trick next time I get the hiccups though!
Posted by: Maria | March 07, 2013 at 05:10 AM
PS okay, half Spanish...
Posted by: Maria | March 07, 2013 at 05:10 AM
WOWZAA! i couldn't help but notice the similarity between you and the bride in the pick just to the right of your pic. i hope she's related because you are twins! oh, great hiccup tip too, thanx!
Ellen
Posted by: ellen | March 08, 2013 at 11:00 AM
ellen: The bride in the sidebar is my Italian grandmother. And if you see a resemblance between us then that is the hugest compliment!
Maria: Sounds like a similar concept. I will give that a try the next time I can't find anything to write with!
Dori: Thank you! I'm surprised I was able to find it in the attic.
Sally: I imagine having a friend try to feed you a glass of water is a recipe for the giggles and subsequently a mouthful of water to the face, but that's what friends are for, right?
Posted by: Tammy | March 09, 2013 at 08:47 PM