FOOD ON THE FOOD

Boooooooooobs!

It’s very convenient that breasts are food-related. That way, when I feel like talking about mine, which is pretty much never, I can do so without breaking theme. In fact, this blog could have been 100% boobs all the time and no one could convict me of exploiting the female form. I really feel I’ve missed out on an important marketing opportunity, not to mention a chance to really connect with my male readership.

I only bring this up because I go for reconstructive surgery tomorrow and posting may be spotty for the next week. In layman’s terms, that means boob job. Yes, I know I’ve made fun of boob jobs several times on this blog that I can recall. Have you noticed that every time I make a joke about something, I then have to go and eat my words in a very humbling fashion? It’s almost like somebody’s trying to teach me a lesson. But that somebody is going to be very distracted from their lesson-teaching when they get a load of my giant new boob!!!

Just kidding. It’s not going to be giant (despite Husband’s enthusiastic lobbying). What the hell am I going to do with one giant boob? Sounds like an awful lot of unwanted attention if you ask me. I know the jury is still out on the long-term health implications of breast implants, and I don’t really consider them to be a fabulous idea, but do you know what I like even less? The constant reminder of cancer. What can I say? Life is just a series of justifications for your hypocritical behavior.

So, to welcome my new bionic boob, I made cookies. Special, celebratory cookies.

The nipples, of course, are optional.

This is a great cookie recipe I pulled from Molly Wizenberg’s A Homemade Life. It’s easy enough for kids to make, it rolls out perfectly for cookie cutters of all shapes and sizes, and the resulting buttery, shortbread-like texture is quite satisfying for all ages. The cream cheese frosting is barely cherry-scented with kirsch, and two drops of red food coloring give it the palest hint of pink, making it perfect for Valentine’s Day. Or, if you’re not the frosting type, roll out the cookies thinner, and sandwich a layer of dulce de leche in between for Argentinian-style alfajores.

And in a few weeks, depending on how things go, I’m thinking I might enact that 100% Boobs All The Time policy on this blog. There will still be food, of course, just food in the vicinity of boobs. Boobs with biscuits. Boobs with soup. Boobs giving away the temperature of all the outdoor shots. I think I’m going to be getting a lot more compliments on my photography. Let the traffic spike begin!

Pink Cookies

You can flavor and color the frosting however you like. Don’t feel limited to the most hideous color known to man.

Dough
3 sticks unsalted butter, room temperature
1 cup powdered sugar, sifted
3 cups all-purpose flour
½ tsp. salt
1 tsp. vanilla extract

Frosting
8 oz. cream cheese, room temperature
6 Tbsp. unsalted butter, room temperature
3 cups powdered sugar, sifted
1¼ tsp. kirsch, or more to taste
Red food coloring

For cookies, combine the butter and sifted powdered sugar in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment. Beat until light and fluffy, starting out very slowly so the sugar doesn’t fly everywhere, and gradually increasing speed. In a medium bowl, mix together the flour and salt. With the mixer on low, add the flour mixture to the butter mixture, beating until the flour is just absorbed. Add the vanilla and beat well to incorporate. Lay a large sheet of plastic wrap on the counter and turn the dough out onto it. Gather the dough into a ball and press into a thick disk. Wrap well and refrigerator for 1 hour.

Preheat the oven to 325°F. Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper. On a clean, floured surface, roll the dough to a thickness of ¼- to ½-inch. (Breaking the dough into two pieces makes it easier to manage.) Cut shapes with cookie cutters or drinking glass. Place the cookies on prepared baking sheets, spacing them an inch apart. Bake one sheet at a time for 16-20 minutes, or until the cookies are pale golden at the edge. Do not allow them to brown. Transfer pan to wire rack and allow cookies to cool completely on pan.

To make the frosting, wash your mixer bowl and paddle. Combine cream cheese and butter in the bowl and beat with the paddle on medium speed until smooth. Add the powdered sugar and beat on low to fully incorporate, then raise speed to medium, beating until there are no lumps, scraping down the sides of the bowl with a rubber scraper as needed. Add the kirsch and a few drops of red food coloring and beat well. I like the frosting barely pink, but feel free to add more food coloring and kirsch to taste. Spread thickly over cookies. They will keep in the refrigerator for 3 days, and can be frozen. Makes about 2 dozen.

Source: Adapted from Jimmy’s recipe in A Homemade Life by Molly Wizenberg. I hope he would approve of my interpretation.

Possibly Still Drunk

Today’s post was supposed to be about a pie I made yesterday for National Pie Day. However, my pie came out all soupy-like and so we’ll have to save that recipe for National Soup Day, whenever that is. Anybody?

So instead I’m going to share with you a party idea because I’ve been to two awesome parties in all of 7 days, and it turns out parties are fun!! Which is too bad because I’ve already filled my quota for the year. Oh well.

Last night’s neighborhood party was originally billed as a “Winter Food Festival and Musicale,” which sounded really scary to me, the “musicale” part at least, like I might be required to sing, dance, or some frightening combination thereof, possibly with some sort of squash involvement. I think the last time I did those things together was in the chorus of a middle school production of Annie Get Your Gun in which I was dressed up as an “Indian” and we shan’t speak any more of that incident.

Luckily, when enough people threatened not to show up to last night’s event, the theme evolved into more of a talent show. Or talentless talent show—you decide. You got to pick your “talent,” the sillier the better, but everyone had to take the stage for 60 seconds. Talents ran the gamut from actual talents to “only when you’re drunk” types of talents, but what I learned is: a) humiliating yourself in front of strangers is a great ice-breaker; b) it’s true what they say, that everybody is a unique snowflake carved by space and time in delightfully unpredictable ways; and c) rolling up your rug for the occasion is a good idea unless you want whipped cream spilled all over it.

Some highlights of the night: A hilarious interpretation of “I Cain’t Say No” from Oklahoma!, a tap-dancing demonstration, a poetry reading, magic tricks, a pasta-making demo, an improv stand-up bit, a rousing rendition of “Lonely House” from Street Scene with piano accompaniment, speed-cartooning, beer-tasting, juggling, an unbelievably ballsy male striptease that fell mercifully short of unveiling any actual balls. There was a pavlova-assembly demonstration, complete with a very messy battle between the culinary school graduates to see who could whisk up some whipped cream the fastest. (In the battle between the CIA v. Cambridge School of Culinary Arts, can you guess who won?) One of the hosts even played a round with himself on the recorder, ventriloquist-style. Things wound down with some blues guitar and a lovely version of "Blackbird."

Even I, hardly a showman, managed to pull off a killer card trick. That is, until everyone plied the secrets out of me later on in the evening with alcohol and flattery. At next year’s party, I will fool no one. Oh, and there was food, too. How could I forget? Pot pie and grits and mint juleps. Some sort of yummy pomegranate concoction. Apparently everyone in attendance was multi-talented because the food was excellent, too. So if you want to throw a fun party, I highly recommend something like this.

Fish Three Ways, Part 3

Boy, my photography has really gone downhill. I thought it couldn’t sink any lower, but I was wrong. And speaking of sinking, here’s our last fish recipe of the series. We’ve explored Italian and Indian flavors, and now it’s time for Asian. This recipe is fresh and bright with bursts of ginger, lime, and cilantro. Served over rice with stir-fried snow peas, sticky green beans, or sesame carrots, it’s a nice dish that I’ve kept in rotation for years.

Oven-Roasted Fish with Ginger and Lime

1½ lbs. white fish fillets (haddock, pollock, cod, bass), cut into 4 to 6 portions
¼ cup fresh lime juice
3 Tbsp. soy sauce
2 Tbsp. shallot, minced
2 Tbsp. fresh ginger, peeled, finely chopped
2 Tbsp. fresh cilantro, chopped
3 Tbsp. extra-virgin olive oil

Preheat oven to 500°F. Brush large baking dish with 2 tsp. oil. Add fish to dish, turn to coat with oil, then arrange skin down. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Set aside.

In small bowl, mix lime juice, soy sauce, shallot, ginger, and cilantro. Whisk in the remaining olive oil and season with salt and pepper. Spoon a scant tablespoon of sauce over each fillet. Roast fish until opaque in the center, about 12 minutes. Top with remaining sauce. Serves 4.

Source: Adapted from a recipe in Bon Appetit many years ago.

When in Rome/Russo’s

Last week, I planned to take my Diemand Farm turkey sausage and put it into a lasagna using a recipe my neighbor recommended out of Sunset Magazine. I planned to follow the Sunset recipe as written even though it called for cottage cheese instead of ricotta. It wouldn’t kill me to try it, right? My neighbor has good taste.

So I went to Russo’s to procure my local cottage cheese, which I did, but as I was leaving the refrigerated section, something caught my eye. A metal tin of ricotta piled high to overflowing like a muffin top, plastic wrapper stretched and rubber-banded comically over the bulge. Boston.com had an article last month about the best food finds of 2009, and in it they mentioned a ricotta that’s made in Hamden, Connecticut, practically right down the street from where Nonni lives. They mentioned that Russo’s stocked it. Whoa! A cheese at Russo’s that I haven’t tried? Impossible! I knew they carried ricotta from Purity (MA) and the Mozzarella House (MA) and Maplebrook Farm (VT), but I had never seen the brand they mentioned: Liuzzi Angeloni. Well, there it was right in front of me, plain as day.

Me: Buy the ricotta.

Me: No, we’re trying cottage cheese this time. It’s already in the cart.

Me: Put it back and get that ricotta.

Me: No, you already know what ricotta tastes like in lasagna.

Me: Yes. Delicious. There’s no improving it.

Me: I’m walking away.

Me: Stop, you idiot. You forgot the ricotta.

Me: I can’t hear you.

Me: Wait. Stop…YOU’RE A DISGRACE TO YOUR PEOPLE!!!

It’s useful to talk to yourself at Russo’s so everyone gets the hell out of your way. Remember that tip. So anyway, I did walk away without the ricotta. Can you believe that? Yeah, me neither. Now for Part 2 of the story.

I was seething all day long about it, my lack of delicious ricotta, to the point that I couldn’t even bring myself to make the lasagna that night or the next day. The day after that, however, I dropped the kids off at their respective schools, then sort of blacked out, and when I came to, someone was ramming their cart into my hip over and over. Yup, you guessed it. I was back at Russo’s planted in front of the cheese fridge. And there was one container left! I assume I paid for it. I’m not really sure because I rushed home to make lasagna, and it was…

Ahhhhhhh. That ricotta was soooooo good. I think the moral of this story is that I wasn’t meant to put cottage cheese in my lasagna.

Some Winter Food Notes

It’s that time of year again when normally good-natured people become vicious and back-stabbing in order to secure a spot in their summer CSA of choice. Just kidding, we’re not really like that (she says while sharpening her knives). What? My knives really do need sharpening. It’s just a coincidence.

I’ve moved the list of local farms to the left hand column under Farms and Food if you want to peruse your options. (Incidentally, my favorite food blog links are listed in that same spot on their own separate pages because the sidebar lists were starting to give me a headache).

If you can’t wait until the summer for fresh, local produce, and I know I can’t, there’s a new winter farmer’s market on Saturdays starting tomorrow through Feb. 27 at Russell’s Garden Center located at 397 Boston Post Rd. (Rt. 20) in Wayland from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. Boston Localvores has the scoop on that. There’s another winter farmer’s market going on in Natick on Saturdays from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. at the Johnson School at 99 South Main St. (Rt. 27). You can learn more from FoodieMommy.

Let’s see, what else? Oh, Drumlin Farm is having their annual winter harvest meal on Friday, Feb. 5 at 7 p.m. Menu includes fresh cheese, kale soup, vegetable frittata, Drumlin meat, roasted winter vegetables, and homemade pumpkin pie. Author Brian Donahue (Reclaiming the Commons: Community Farms and Forests in a New England Town and The Great Meadow: Farmers and the Land in Colonial Concord) will speak. Tickets are $32 for members, $40 for nonmembers. Call 781-259-2206 by January 30 to reserve a spot.

Finally, there’s a burger throwdown going on in Boston on Monday, Feb. 1 from 6 to 9 p.m. in the Nine Zero Hotel between Ken Oringer, James Beard Award-winning chef of KO Prime, and his “challengers,” including Ming Tsai (Blue Ginger), Andy Husbands (Tremont 647), Jamie Bissonette (Toro, Coppa), Michael Schlow (Radius, Via Matta), Jay Haaj (Mike’s City Diner), and Greg Reeves (Green Street Grill), among others. Twenty-five bucks lets you sample 10 burgers and vote for your favorite one. Event benefits Autism Speaks.

Fish Three Ways, Part 2

So we’ve done fish Italian-style; now it’s time to do it Indian-style. Think tomatoes, garlic, fennel seed…wait that still sounds Italian. Okay, but then add some cumin, turmeric, cayenne, garam masala…. This takes things in an entirely different direction, making it hard to remember that it’s the exact same fish you just cooked last week.

You can skip the dry rub if you’re short on time. The sauce need only simmer for about 15 minutes, so you can fillet the fish at that point. Or, you know, buy it already filleted. I hear you can do that. Point is, it doesn’t take long. Serve the fish with ample sauce over basmati rice with some roasted cauliflower or stir-fried cabbage, and you will find yourself eating something on par with (or in some cases better) than what the local Indian restaurants serve.

Next up, roasted fish in a soy-ginger sauce.

Fish in an Indian-Spiced Tomato Sauce

Adjust the cayenne to your taste. I’ve reduced the amount here because my youngest complained, “My neck is spicing.”

1½ lbs. white fish fillets (cod, haddock, pollock, bass), cut into two-inch pieces
1¼ tsp. salt
¼ tsp. turmeric
2 pinches cayenne
3 Tbsp. vegetable oil
1 tsp. fennel seeds
1 tsp. mustard seeds
1 medium onion, peeled and finely chopped
2 cloves garlic, peeled and finely chopped
2 tsp. cumin
14 oz. tomatoes, canned is fine
¼ tsp. garam masala (if you don’t have this spice mix, add a pinch each of whatever of the following you have: cinnamon, black pepper, coriander, cardamom, and the tiniest pinch of cloves, and you’ll approximate it pretty well)

Pat the cod fillets dry and sprinkle with a mixture of ¼ tsp. salt, ¼ tsp. turmeric, and a pinch of cayenne. Set aside for 30 minutes.

In a large skillet with a lid, heat the oil over medium heat. When hot, add the fennel and mustard seeds. When the mustard seeds begin to pop, add the onion and garlic. Fry until the onion turns slightly brown, about 7 minutes. Add the cumin, remaining 1 tsp. salt, and the other pinch of cayenne, and stir. Add the tomatoes and their liquid as well as the garam masala. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to medium-low, and gently simmer uncovered for about 15 minutes, until sauce starts to thicken and darken.

Nestle fish fillets into the sauce, spooning additional sauce on top. Cover pan and simmer gently over medium-low heat until fish is cooked through, about 10 minutes for thin fillets. Serve over basmati rice.

Source: Adapted from Madhur Jaffrey’s Illustrated Indian Cookery (out of print).

A Lesson in Dinosaur Social Dynamics

While playing dinosaurs the other morning, the Preschooler was orchestrating a conversation between a triceratops and a stegosaurus in which they compared their various types of armor and the plants they liked to eat. When they ran out of things to talk about, he decided to introduce a T-Rex to the mix.

Me: Uh-oh. A Tyrannosaurus? Is he going to play nice?

Him: Yes.

Me: But what if he’s hungry? Won’t he eat the stegosaurus or the triceratops?

Him: No. He’ll eat a different dinosaur.

Me: Oh, yeah?

Him: He’ll eat a parasaurolophus instead.

Of course. Fill up on parasaurolophus, the chips and salsa of the dinosaur world. A main course of stegosaurus asado or triceratops rellenos would never cross his mind. Looks like the beginning of a beautiful, albeit short-lived, friendship.

Fish Three Ways, Part 1

As you know, we’ve been part of the Cape Ann Fresh Catch fish CSA and been very happy with it. We signed up again this winter for alternating shares of Maine shrimp one week, and whatever the daily catch is fish-wise the next (usually a white fish like cod, flounder, haddock, or pollock). We switched to the more manageable smaller-sized share (a 5-lb. bag of whole shrimp or one 5 lb. whole fish, which yields about 2 lbs. of fillets, per week). The children absolutely love it. Now that I’ve gotten faster at filleting, I’m able to process the fish and get dinner on the table in about an hour as long as I keep things simple. (The shrimp is another story.)

Husband caught me admiring last week’s cod, with its bright, shiny scales and clear, coppery eyes with a golden rim around the pupil.

Him: What? Do you want to make out with it?

Me: Maybe.

What can I say? It was a particularly beautiful fish that filleted cleanly. How could I possibly do it justice? I’ll tell you how: by pan-frying it gently, deglazing the pan with white wine, simmering in some capers, mounting with butter (get your mind out of the gutter, it's a FISH), and finishing it with the juice of a lemon and a sprinkling of parsley. Serve over buttered spaghetti with maybe some kale on the side, it’s like fish piccata. So simple and so good.

Next week, fish simmered in a fragrant Indian-spiced red sauce.

Cod with Lemon-Caper Butter

I like to keep the skin on thin fillets so the fish doesn’t fall apart too easily.
1½ lbs. cod, flounder, or sole fillets
2 Tbsp. olive oil
¼ cup flour
½ cup white wine
¼ cup capers, drained
3 Tbsp. butter, cut into pieces
3 Tbsp. fresh lemon juice
1 Tbsp. chopped fresh parsley

Heat oil in heavy, large skillet over medium-high heat. Meanwhile, spread flour on a plate. Sprinkle fish with salt and pepper and lightly coat with flour. Add fish to the hot pan and cook until opaque in the center, a few minutes per side for thin fillets. Transfer to plate and tent with foil to keep warm.

Add wine to skillet and deglaze, scraping up browned bits. Add capers and simmer until liquid is reduced by half, 2-3 minutes. Whisk in butter, one piece at a time, allowing each piece to melt before adding the next. Off the heat, whisk in lemon juice and parsley. Season with salt and pepper. Spoon sauce over fish to serve. Serves 4-6.

Source: Adapted from Legal Sea Foods.

Buy 1, Get 1 Free

Ah, the lure of the sale. Fixed-income grandmothers everywhere can’t resist its siren song, as evidenced by the following conversation with Nonni over the weekend:

Her: Do you eat grape jelly?

Me: I’ve been known to.

Her: Here, take these home.

Me: No, you keep them.

Her: I can’t eat it.

Me: Then why did you buy so many?

Her: They were on sale.

Me: …

Her: Buy one, get one free.

Me: But…it’s not free if you can’t eat it.

Her: (looking at me like I’m crazy)

Oh well. Who am I to condemn the ways of a near-century-old human?

It’s free to me!

Grapefruit Mimosas

Thank you all for coming to my New Year’s Eve potluck. It was awesome! I especially enjoyed the F*ck You Fondue, Why-Didn't-Anyone-Tell-Me-I-Had-Celiac-Disease French Toast, “Busted Knee” Leg o’ Goat, Menopause Hot & Cold Soup, Torturilla Chips and Guantanamole, and Crazy Momma Biscotti. See the comments for the rest of the offerings. Oh, and sorry I threw up in your car afterwards. That’s just my way.

In the unlikely event that you have any champagne leftover that I didn’t find and then drink, here’s a cocktail recipe for your brunchtime pleasure: grapefruit juice, tequila, elderflower liquor, topped off with a bit of bubbly. What’s wrong with a little cocktail first thing on a Monday morning? I hear companies are really loosening up about employees showing up plastered to work in 2010. All right, fine, I am trying to get you fired so I can take your job! Shhhhhh. A few more sips won’t hurt. You’re taking the train anyway.

Jalisco Flower
Since there’s no simple syrup in this, pick a grapefruit with a tartness you can tolerate. White grapefruit if you like things on the sharper side, ruby red if you prefer them sweeter, pink grapefruit for something in between.

1 oz. freshly squeezed grapefruit juice
¾ oz. elderflower liqueur (like St. Germain)
½ oz. reposado tequila
3 oz. champagne, prosecco, cava, or sparkling wine

Pour first three ingredients into an ice cube-filled cocktail shaker and shake vigorously. Strain into champagne flute (or travel mug) and then top with champagne. Serves 1.

Source: Adapted from Organic, Shaken and Stirred by Paul Abercrombie.