Hair Day

Last week, my BFF and I went shopping for a wig.  Because even though I hate shopping, I was a little bit worried about how the children might react when I suddenly go bald.  Also, how I might react.  I mean, we all know my hair and I haven’t always been on the best of terms, but that doesn’t mean I wanted to sever all ties.  Surely we could work out a mutually agreeable arrangement. 

No?

Anyway, I already have a few bandanas I got at Target for the really hot days when having no hair is an actual blessing.  But not every occasion lends itself to a bandana.  Like all of the fancy wine tastings I never go to.  Also, events at exclusive country clubs I’m not a member of.  Job interviews I don’t get.  Prom invitations that never materialize.  I need to be prepared. 

So we went and I tried to keep an open mind, she who has never dyed her hair in her life nor changed her hairstyle in 15 years.  The wig lady showed us lots of options.  There were dark chocolate bobs and pixie-ish cuts the color of flax seed.  There were sleek cascades of mahogany with cherry highlights, and mad tangles of curls in strawberry blonde.  I thought I wanted a black blunt cut à la Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction, but I wasn’t sure I would have the intensity to pull that off.  I never win in staring contests.  Especially not dancing, staring contests.  And certainly not dancing, staring contests with murder lurking in the air. 

Husband had put in a vote for the pink wig that Natalie Portman wore in Closer.  I did try on the pink wig.  I did, but there were about 100 reasons why that wasn’t going to work, starting with the pink color.  If you ever want to look like death warmed over, put on a neon pink wig.  Sorry, Natalie, but I don’t need any more help in that department, and, frankly, your luminousness is a long shot for anyone on a good day.

Believe it or not, trying on all those wigs was not depressing at all, and, in fact, was quite fun.  Like I could just up and decide to be anybody I wanted.  It made me fantasize about being a spy in a really, really non-dangerous type of situation.  Like if my client, let’s call him Charlie, very badly needed to know what Jon Hamm of Mad Men orders when he goes out to eat.  Then I would be your woman.  I might be very interested in such an assignment, actually, which would be fine with Husband because he would be over at the bar courting January Jones, and whatever happens in the restaurant bathroom stays in the restaurant bathroom, no questions asked.

In the end, I couldn’t decide, so I got two: one short, cropped wig in my regular chestnut brown and one shoulder-length blonde one.  Well, not blonde so much as straw-colored (but on me it looks BLONDE!).  Does it look ridiculous?  Kinda.  But, guess what, I don’t care.  I’ve always heard that blondes have more fun and now’s my chance to find out.  Of course, there are probably more boobs involved in that equation normally.  And less vomiting.  But I’ve been wrong about stuff before.

So, this recipe goes out to all my blonde friends (and one particular red-head).  We’ll compare notes later.

Blondies

For maximum fun, make a pan of these and a pan of your favorite dark chocolate brownies and let your guests duke it out over which is better and why.  That always gets the party started.

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
2 cups brown sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla
2 cups flour
½ tsp. baking soda
½ tsp. kosher salt
1 cup chocolate chips
½ cup butterscotch chips
1 cup chopped pecans
Sea salt for sprinkling

Preheat oven to 350°F.  Butter a 9”x13” pan and line with parchment paper.

Cream butter and sugar with an electric mixer until smooth.  Add eggs, beating well after each addition.  Add vanilla and mix again.  In a separate bowl, mix flour, baking soda, and salt.  Add dry ingredients and mix on low until just combined.  Stir in chips and nuts.  Spread in prepared pan and sprinkle top with a few pinches of sea salt.  Bake for about 30 minutes, until top is golden brown and the middle yields slightly to gentle pressure.

Comments

[Amy]

I have had kinky curly hair my entire life. Since I was in college I have received hundreds of "you're so lucky" accolades. Bah humbug. I want the straight, dammit! Even wavy would do.

I love that you got two wigs! That's awesome. Now, you can go incognito whenever you want.

I fantasize about shaving off my locks and getting a straight mane, but I fear my head is fucked up and I'll make it even worse.

[Linda]

Can't wait to see you as a blond. When can I come by? Also, I know this is chemo week coming up - do you need dinner made? Do you even feel like eating? Would hubby or kids eat chicken in orange sauce (I bought more ingredients for it than I realized...)Finally, I'm willing to be substitute blogger for you one week if you dare...

[Catherine]

My mother got a wig, but she never wore it..just wore hats or nothing. Seeing her without hair you could see how beautiful her eyes are. (her hair is back now)

[Jess]

Here's another tip: Take the wig closer to your style to your favorite stylist. He or she can cut and shape it to your current style. Might help the kids transition to Blonde Mom. Or get wigs for the kids and make it a family thing.

[danish]

Tammy, I just want to tell you that you are one of my most favorite bloggers ever. (and I read ALOT of them. Big time-waster here at work!) I love your sense of humor and your writing. I have been thinking of you and your family since your big announcement and wish there was something I could do for you.

Anyway, wanted to delurk to give you a warm hug. Keep up your good spirits.

Dana

[kristi @ sproutsinthekitchen]

HA! If you dare to go for a third wig, might I suggest something a la "kiss my grits" Flo in that 70s sitcom Alice. You've sure got the spunk to pull that one off. And if you blog about it and follow it with a recipe for grits, well, that'd be too much cheesy fun, no?

[Karen @ Mignardise]

So glad to see your sense of humor is intact.
My friend who just finished chemo had two wigs also - a fun one which we call her "hippie" hair and one for business mtgs.
Most of the time she just wears a scarf bc it's the most comfortable.

Thinking of you!

[adele]

My experience of blondies (read: institutional dining halls) has not endeared me to them. But if you're offering the recipe, I might actually give them another try.

The talk of wigs and food makes me feel like I should recommend Ruth Reichl's "Garlic and Sapphires" as summer reading, assuming you haven't already read it.

[Tammy]

adele: I just read "Garlic and Sapphires," actually (thanks Susanna!), and that book may have been what inspired me to write this. As you may recall, cancer was a running theme in that book, and Ruth's wig lady said something to the effect of: getting a new wig is a great opportunity to reinvent yourself and have fun with it, but most cancer patients just want to look they way they always look. And Ruth's friend, who later ends up passing of ovarian cancer, responds: "Of course they do....When people are sick they need to be reminded that they're no different than they used to be, just because they're sick. They need to know that they're the same people they always were." So, that's why I got two wigs. One that's in character and one that's not. Because sometimes you need to be reminded of yourself, and sometimes you just need to escape. And speaking of escapes, I think this recipe is a good one. Let me know what you think if you try it.

Karen: I wonder how often I'll wear the wigs, too, but I'll let you in on a little secret. I'm wearing the blond one right now! And my hair hasn't even fallen out, yet.

Kristi: Flo from Alice!! Now that would be both awesome and hideous in equal proportions. I do like my grits, though. Hmmm....

Dana: Thank you so much for that. I always appreciate the delurking, and I'm glad I'm not depressing you guys too much!

Jess: My current style is roll out of bed and put it in a ponytail. I can still do that with the blonde one. The other one is too short, so I can just roll out of bed and go. One less step. I may really get into this wig thing. The kids, though mightily perplexed when I sat them down for the wig fashion show, now love them. They like the blonde one best. In the short brown one, I look just like my mom at my age and that kind of freaks out Husband a little.

Catherine: I'm glad your mom got through things okay. We'll see if I get brave enough to wear nothing at all (on my head). I'm not so good with the staring. I'm more of a fly-under-the-radar kind of girl.

Linda: I've e-mailed you.

Amy: Isn't that always the way: curly wants straight and straight wants curly. You should go to a wig store and try stuff on just for fun. Maybe you'll find you'll appreciate your own locks even more! Or you can buy a wig and we'll start our own spy brigade! You can be the second Angel. We need a third!

[Chef Gwen]

Found your blog through Ruth Reichl's tweet today. So sorry that you flew under the radar before, because after sifting through some of your posts (all the way back to the beginning), you really got me with your voice. Love it.

Took my mother to her haircut to shorten her locks before the chemo took the rest. She had the loveliest long silver tendrils. But she looked fabulous in short hair, and later no hair. Helps if you have a beautifully egg-shaped head. It's all about what's on the inside anyway.

Anyway, I'm so happy I found your blog. Will be back. Hang in there.

[Werlegirl]

Ruth Reichl just twittered about your blog!!!!!!!!! Lucky you!!!!!!!!

[The Mother]

Good luck with it all - wigs are fun! I'm 15 years out and have saved the wigs. Your attitude is terrific, and that's what works through all this. Keep cooking - before you know it, your hair will be growing back!

[Alice Q. Foodie]

Congrats on the Ruth Reichl link and great post! Love your sense of humor!

[vinfan]

Just discovered you through Ruth R's tweet and your blog is wonderful. My friend just finished chemo, also got two wigs and the one she wears all the time is similar to her old hairstyle, but BETTER. Everyone compliments her on her new haircut and she's looking forward to taking it to her hairdresser so as her current peach fuzz grows out, she can grow into her wig style.

[Red Ribbon Bakery]

my auntie also now using wig.After her chemo therapy,her hair become fewer so she needs to wear wig.It looks like there's nothing change because her wig is like her hair before.hmmm..I like that dark chocolate brownies and i am going to try that recipe.thank you for sharing.

seth