Yesterday, we took advantage of the rain to go blackberry-picking among the canes growing wild at a nearby park. The bees, I had heard, have been particularly agitated lately, sending several neighborhood children home in tears on one of the few sunny afternoons we’ve had. I attributed this to the bees’ formidable to do list combined with a weather-restricted work schedule. Don’t we all get that way from time to time?
I figured that the pouring rain might work in our favor. With the bees on siesta, maybe our non-stealthy approach to foraging might go unnoticed. And it did, allowing us (me, mostly) to pick a scant pint. The rain did not, however, save me from being stung by angry three-year-olds. Soggy, angry three-year-olds:
Him: Mommy, I want a raspberry.
Me: These are blackberries. Here, have one.
Him: No, I want a raspberry.
Me: There aren’t any raspberries here. Only blackberries.
Him: But Mommy, I see a raspberry RIGHT THERE.
Me: Ohhhh. Those red berries aren’t raspberries, they’re unripe blackberries.
Him: Yes, they ARE raspberries. I see them RIGHT THERE.
Sheesh, the kid grows up in a CSA and suddenly he’s a berry expert. (To be fair, they do look exactly like raspberries.)
Me: No, those don’t taste good. Try one of these.
Him: Nooooooo, Mommy, nooooo…RASPBERRIIIIIEEEEESSSSS…
Me: Okay, fine. Here. (handing him a red one)
He tastes it, shivers. I go back to picking.
Him: …Can I have a blackberry, please?
Me: Exactly.
Meanwhile, the angry six-year-old stayed behind in the car. Something about it raining really hard. Yeah, kid, what else is new? Mommy needs to get the hell outside before she hangs herself with her computer cord.
Author's Note: What makes this post hilarious is that, come to find out, those berries aren’t blackberries at all, but black raspberries. Because I can never pass up an opportunity to be a moron. You can read all about the berry differences in the comment section, but how I found out was at dinner tonight when we had some friends over and I threw the remaining “blackberries” into a blueberry cobbler I was making and my friend said, those aren’t blackberries, they’re black raspberries, and I had to smile about what I wrote, knowing how smug I was to think I could win a battle of wits with a preschooler. WRONG. So, yes, the 3YO was right about the plant classification. As for me, well, at least I know my colors!
You're both right: those are black raspberries. Blackberries will be fruiting in August, and they have hard seeds in the center instead of the open core of raspberries.
Posted by: Yet another Pam | July 03, 2009 at 04:46 PM
these look like black raspberries, actually--so maybe you're both right? we have a bunch in our backyard now and my dad used to make great black raspberry jam. i like them better than blackberries OR raspberries!
Posted by: alyssa | July 03, 2009 at 05:23 PM
We have both blackberries and red raspberries growing on our (new!) property, and Farmboy excitedly led me up there yesterday to taste the first of the raspberries. Not quite ripe, I thought my cheeks would implode. Still and all, he was so excited for me to pick and cook with them...
Posted by: NurseJen | July 03, 2009 at 05:32 PM
LOL! I have a 3YO as well. It's so sad when I discover she's smarter than me.
The other day I was going to use bananas for a dessert, and she actually rolled her eyes at me and said "Do you really think those are ripe enough?"
Oh boy.
And for the record, I didn't even know such a thing as black raspberries existed!
Posted by: Amy | July 03, 2009 at 10:11 PM
That's hilarious! I've never heard of black raspberries either. I'll have to ask about them when we make the berry picking rounds today.
Posted by: Mangochild | July 04, 2009 at 06:02 AM
Alright - spill. Where is this patch o'black raspberries?? I am willing to brave some bees.
Posted by: MidLifeMama | July 04, 2009 at 09:26 AM
i think that black raspberries only grow wild. i've never seen them in the store or even at a pick-your-own farm. very weird actually. i predict that next year, or the year after, they will be the new green garlic!
Posted by: alyssa | July 04, 2009 at 11:17 AM
We have that same thing growing in our yard! I have also had that exact conversation with my kids. I always figured the fact that they were growing wild to be the reason they didn't look like typical store-bought blackberries-good to know!
Posted by: katie | July 04, 2009 at 11:45 AM
Did you do penance with your three-year-old? My god, did you even TELL him he was right?
Posted by: cookiecrumb | July 05, 2009 at 01:50 PM
CC: Of course not. If he knows he's smarter than me now, then he's going to be insufferable in 10 years.
katie: Me, too. I thought they were just small because they were wild. But I'll admit that I was puzzled by their interiors. I kept wondering why the insides of them looked so weird--it's because blackberries aren't hollow. For more info on the differences, go here: http://www.raspberryblackberry.org/local.cfm?doc=webdocs/faqs.htm
alyssa: You could be right. I can hardly wait to hear the bickering at the farmstands. (Blackberries. RASPBERRIES. Blackberries. RASPBERRIES!!!)
MidLifeMama: Do you know the secret password? (see my e-mail)
Mangochild: They're yummy, though I'm still partial to golden raspberries.
Amy: I'm so proud that the kids pick this stuff up, and yet so disappointed that I can't play the role of the all-knowing parent for longer.
NurseJen: Nice! Congrats on the new property. That's a nice Farmboy you've got there. A friend of Husband's gave us some raspberries plants, but only one is in a patch of sun and therefore only one is thriving. But we found one wild bramble growing out of our rock wall and those four red raspberries are going to be awesome!
Yet Another Pam: Thank goodness I have so many smart readers. What would I do without them?!
Posted by: Tammy | July 05, 2009 at 09:30 PM
You're so lucky to have black raspberries! We had them near our house growing up in Vermont and I love them and they're impossible to find in the city. They have such a unique flavor.
Posted by: thistle | July 06, 2009 at 11:11 AM
Ok, seriously, SOOO funny! :et your 3YO read this when ready with the humility to know that he can be right and you can still be the smart mommy who knows what's best. I prefer raspberries to blackberries. Beautiful pic by the way!
Posted by: Zahavah/Gayle | July 06, 2009 at 12:57 PM
And thus the origin of "out of the mouths of babes" is revealed...
Posted by: Jess | July 06, 2009 at 01:58 PM
I found myself with some blackberries last night, and some blueberries... so you can bet I made that Cobbler recipe of yours for dinner last night. Holy poop! that was tasty. I've been dreaming of another bowl all day long.
Posted by: karen | July 10, 2009 at 07:24 PM