I spent a lot of time over the holidays trying to figure out how to make fudge for my relatives that would actually make it into the hands of my relatives this year. I love my family, but past experience has shown that if fudge is any indicator, I love myself even more. Because do you know what's thicker than water and blood? Fudge.
The problem is that it’s difficult to outwit myself when I can see the actual fudge-making process going on right in front of me. Then I see where I hide it. And I know all the weaknesses of the complicated booby-traps I set to protect it. However, unlike last year when I made 14 batches of the stuff, I only made one batch this year. The chocolate kind. Of that batch, I ate just one piece of fudge. Can you believe that? Only two pieces out of the whole pan! Three pieces of fudge. And that, you can be sure, is a lifetime record.
(Cuatro.)
And to prove just how different the Tammy of Christmas Past is from the Tammy of late 2008/2009, I didn't even make the penuche. And I totally could have. I had all the ingredients just sitting in the cupboard waiting for me. Still do. Calling to me in that sweet, caramel-toned voice. Reminding me that the time for goodwill towards men is OVER, and I could keep that pan of penuche in my underwear drawer with all the lacy things I never wear and no one would be the wiser. Except for you, my secret Internet friends. Except for you.
When you prepared to give the fudge, was it difficult to pack it? God, I love that obvious joke.
Posted by: The fudge, it is packed | January 03, 2009 at 10:25 PM
Just stumbled onto your blog and I've been laughing out loud as I've read your latest entries. My husband thinks I've lost my mind. (again)
Thanks for the posts!
Posted by: Michelle | January 04, 2009 at 12:41 PM
Your secret is safe with me. You have way more self-control than I do. I always felt elated when any of the desserts I made for the holidays looked "ugly" so I could eat them. And by ugly I mean totally delicious.
Posted by: MC | January 05, 2009 at 04:18 PM
RECIPE??? I need a good fudge one...
Posted by: Non-Bacon Tammy | January 07, 2009 at 01:59 PM
Non-Bacon Tammy: God, I hope I didn't set fire to it. Sometimes, I'm my own worst enemy. Let me see if I can find it...
MC: Oh yes. I've played that game before. Not good enough for gifts but somehow still good enough for me. It's a miracle I don't weigh 500 pounds.
Michelle: Thanks for your nice comment. Welcome to the blogosphere!
Fudge: Did you notice how I didn't mention fudge-packing once in the entire post? Because I knew I could count on you!
Posted by: Tammy | January 07, 2009 at 10:48 PM
I just drooled a little..
Posted by: Buffy | January 14, 2009 at 11:14 PM
If you are a fudge lover (as we have proven ourselves to be in nearly 50 years of playing with the chocolatey goodness), check out Swiss Maid Fudge's website (http://www.swissmaidfudge.com). There are a bunch of tips and tricks to make the perfect fudge! And when all else fails, you can always just order some and eat it yourself :)
Posted by: Jane Heller | July 14, 2010 at 02:21 PM