Eating Your Words

So, I have this untested theory (which, I guess, would make it a hypothesis) that people eat the way they read.  Not that they eat what they read (geez, are you even paying attention?), but that they apply the same behaviors to both activities.

For example, I eat at a snail’s pace.  Someone will be setting the table for breakfast (usually me) and I’m still finishing up dinner (convenient!).  That’s also how I read.  Slowly and deliberately.  No skipping words.  No reading diagonally down the page to get the gist.  I ruminate.  I dwell.  If I find my mind wandering, I go back and reread.  I take forever to finish a book, if I finish it at all.  And if the author is especially good, I’ll interrupt the story to pore over the author bio on the jacket and get jealous.  Try to figure out how old he or she is, and why haven’t I written anything good like this.  But I’m getting off track.

I like a good story, so I want to make it last.  That’s how it is with food, too.  Husband can finish a book in the time it takes me to finish a meal.  He reads 10 books to my every one, which makes him appear much smarter than me.  Mr. Smartypants can also finish a meal and then wash all of the dishes in the time it takes me to finish cutting my pancakes the way I like them (cut the edges off the stack and eat those first, then cut the middle, heavily-buttered part into quarters and eat that last).  Which, now that I think about it, makes me wonder what the hell I’m complaining about. 

So, I ran my theory by some friends who had us over for dinner, recently.  Everyone fell into one camp or the other (really, just one camp — the fast one).  Nobody was mixing and matching.  My theory seemed to be holding some water.  Is four a large enough scientific sampling? 

So, I’ll put it out to you, people.  Where do you fall?  Is anyone a speed-reader, but a slow-eater?  Vice versa?  I must have seemed a bit too smug as the only tortoise in a room full of hares because my friend piped in, “Yeah, but you do everything slow.”

Touché.  Spoken like a true BFF.

Comments

[Mary]

I read books moderately fast, and I guess you could say I eat at a medium pace too. But I love to do both so I read (and eat) a lot. :)
My husband doesn't like to read and it usually takes him forever. But he can inhale a pan of lasagna faster than anyone I've ever seen.

[Sandicita]

I guess I fall into the camp of fast eating and slow reading. Maybe I'm the exception that proves the rule? However, I don't read slowly by choice... it just takes me forever! I do tend to do both a lot, and given a great book, I will swallow it whole in a second. So maybe I'd be in the fast camp if only I had speed-reading skills.

[melch]

I read pretty fast but am always the last one eating. I probably do most other things slowly, though. Efficiency is not my middle name.

[Rebecca]

Fast reading, slow eating. Unless the food is no good.

[Sally]

You're not *slow* Tammy - you're savoring every word and every mouthful of food. You're living in the moment, allowing that experience (whether mental or physical) to be processed to it's fullest potential. Dreamers make good writers.

[Tammy]

Sally: That sounds good. Much better than *lazy* and *none too bright.*

Rebecca: So, if the food is bad, you scarf it down to get it over with? Wow. You're brave.

Melch: If we both don't have the same middle name, does that mean we're related. Okay, now how long did it take you to read that? And did you understand it? I've read it five times slowly and I still don't get it.

Sandicita: I don't read slowly by choice, either. It's just the natural state of things.

Mary: Can you do both at the same time? Actually, that would be sacrilegious.

Well, I don't know about you guys, but I learned a lot today. I learned I'm bad at reading AND science.

[Sis]

I read... never. I buy books in large quantities and then store them on our bookshelf, looking at them and saying "I should really read those books."

I eat... all the time. Generally in large quantities where it's stored... well... on my ass. I then look at my ass and say "I should really stop eating an entire package of cookies for breakfast.

I think this fits neatly into your theory. If only I could fit neatly into my jeans.

[Tempered Woman]

I eat just like I read but it's a preference thing not a speed one. If I HAVE to read a book or if it's not really that great I tend to speed right through it. I love to totally take my time and live in the books I'm enjoying though. I'll even put them to the side and read another book for a couple of days just so I can drag it out longer and put off finishing it. Saving the best for last kind of thing.
It's creepy how similiar this is to my eating habits really.

[Katrina]

Okay. I read every word in the same way I'm compelled to always clean my plate. Speed varies. And like a good meal, when I finish a good book, I want more. (I eat pancakes from north to south.)

[kate]

I read quickly and voraciously, but take forever to eat. My boyfriend reads slower than molasses but eats quickly. I figure the time that he spends sitting with me over dinner while I finish eating is canceled out by the time I spend waiting for him to finish a book or article so we can discuss it.

[Barry Foy]

Are you tryin' to mess with my mind, or what? I read while I eat!

[melissa]

you do everything slow? I do everything fast. I have to make a conscious effort to slow myself down to a medium pace - especially, coincidentally, with reading and eating. two things that should be enjoyed a bit less quickly than my nature typically allows.

I'm surprised more people's answers aren't one or the other. I would think as you do - i.e., you would do those things at the same pace.

[Alecto]

I'm found out and embarassed beyond words. Yes, I do everything at nine million miles per hour and often multiple things at one time. Husband is linear and actually enjoys what I make. However, he is an accountant. That splains everything,right? (right?!!!)

[Tammy]

Alecto: I need to spend more time with you. I don't mind my slow reading and slow eating so much, but I wish the bathroom cleaning, for example, would go a little faster. And my multitasking...is pathetic.

Melissa: You, too. Send me the juice.

Barry: I knew you were trouble. Still, it seems to work for you.

Kate: You guys are a match made in heaven! Just like Husband and I.

Katrina: Yes, more is always good. But pancakes? You eat them from north to south? That's crazy. You have to then bring the cut pieces up and over the stack to eat them. (Wow, Tammy, lazy much?)

Tempered Woman: I salute you.

Sis: It's hard not to eat an entire package of cookies for breakfast when that tower of books is staring down at you, judging. Always judging. And mocking. God, can I have a cookie?

[Alecto]

Oh Tammy, bathroom, spotless, top to bottom, 15 minutes flat (including the ceiling tiles in the glass shower stall - I am that kind of nuts). That lingering bass note of bleach though, it's kinda in the fra diavlo we had for dinner...

[Tammy]

Alecto: Bass notes of bleach? Yeah, I'm not familiar with that flavor. I may need to go back to wife school.

[Ann]

I'm a fast reader, but I slow down when I'm struck by really fine writing. My eating habits are all over the place. I can wolf down food but I can also enjoy a five hour meal. So I don't know.

Anyway, I'm not sure I believe you. You couldn't possibly be raising kids, cooking all this lovely food and writing such wonderfully composed pieces if you were THAT slow. :-)

Maybe you are simply deliberate when appropriate?

[Tatiana]

I'm a speed reader and a very slow eater. Sorry. I read about 4 books a week, that's every week and can easily take 45 minutes to have a meal. And I ALWAYS read when I eat unless we're in public. And the ketchup bottle has no label.