My Identity was Stolen

Again.  But, unlike the last person to score my credit card number, who spent thousands of dollars at Louis Vuitton and Prada, this one spent a mere $400 at Old Navy.  To that thief, I say, live a little.  It’s not even your money.  That’s the best you can do?

I was joking with the Old Navy people, asking what size the stuff was, because I’ve been meaning to do some shopping.  Criminals tend to have better taste in clothing than I do, so I thought maybe I’d save myself some trouble by just keeping the charges on my account and having the stuff shipped directly to me.  I’ve always wanted my own personal shopper.  Especially one who splurges on Next Day Air. 

Perhaps, she who stole my credit card number was the same person who broke into (and then locked me out of) my Yahoo e-mail account on the same day.  I sure hope she enjoyed the reading.  If I’m really lucky, she was busily sending out query letters to prospective editors, because I’ve really been slacking off lately.  I hope she used the spell-check.  I’ve always wanted my own personal query-letter writer.

Given that my particular identity (slovenly appearance, yet immaculate credit) is so attractive to criminal types, I really think I should be doing some kind of outreach.  Because I have a lot of stuff I’d like to buy for myself, but I have trouble justifying the expense.  Inserting a middleman might mean less guilt. 

So, from now on, I’m just going to give out my credit card number to whoever might want it.  Go ahead, people, knock yourselves out.  I’ve had my eye on Global knives for years, and just about anything shiny and/or cheese-related from Williams-Sonoma.

Comments

[Lisa]

Ugh. Very funny post - your sarcasm touches my heart as this is most likely the exact same way I'd find the humor in it.

I am sorry this keeps happening to you though..

Not to be crude, but well.. my fashion sense isn't really so much in the now as it's still pretty much all about the 80's.. so maybe if the clothes are cute, you could pass along my credit card number to possibly one of her friends? Think about it..

xoxo

[Helen Rennie]

Hi Tammy,

That's an adorable post. Sorry to hear about your credit card and yahoo account. I am guessing I'd be more upset about the e-mail account. Sometimes it scares me how much information in there I can't live without.

I am all for outreach program though. I absolutely hate shopping too (for clothes, decorative stuff, etc.; food is another story). So it would be so nice if some shopperholic person could do it for me. They'd get their shopping fix and I'd get clothes. Wouldn't that be a win/win situation!

Cheers,
-Helen

[Dad]

This sounds good to me! I hate to shop, leave the house and spend money. This identity theft thing looks like it would take care of one and two. The spending money part appears to still be a problem, however. Plus the thief would probably buy clothes that would be considered fashionable and cool. Can't have that .... I do have a reputation to uphold!

[Tammy]

Dad: That's where this whole thing breaks down. If you're going to steal someone's identity, at least act the part. No one I hang out with can pull off Prada.

Helen: It's nice to meet another female who hates to shop. I thought I was the only one!

Lisa: Somehow, I don't think we'll have a problem finding volunteers to max out the cards.

[Wandering Chopsticks]

Sorry this happened to you. But multiple times? Eek! Do you monitor your credit? I do a credit check on myself at least once a year just to make sure everything's on the up and up.