The 5YO was mad the other morning because I wouldn't let him and his brother have a second bowl of Frosted Mini-Wheats for breakfast. Both boys have inherited their father's passionate love of Frosted Mini-Wheats, which I will never understand, but then I think Grape-Nuts is the bee’s knees so this is the kind of person they're dealing with. There's no accounting for taste in breakfast cereal.
I had already been back and forth with the 5YO about how one bowl of Mini-Wheats was enough on top of the yogurt he already had, and now he was sulking about it as I buttered his toast.
Him: ...You let us have two bowls of Cheerios yesterday.
Me: You're still trying to negotiate a better deal? Listen, Cheerios only has 1 gram of sugar and Mini-Wheats has 12, which is a LOT more sugar. Moreover, if you and your brother have two bowls of Mini-Wheats, that's four bowls each day, then we go through a whole box of Mini-Wheats in two days and you don't have any left for the rest of the week.
Him: But we have two boxes.
Me: Yes, so Daddy can have some, too.
Him: Then buy threes boxes. Or four boxes. Or FIVE BOXES!
(You have to admire his logic and persistence.)
Me: If we spend all our money on Mini-Wheats, we won't have money for the other things we need. Like toilet paper.
(Bad example. Toilet paper is totally expendable in his eyes.)
Me: Or milk.
Me: Or ice cream.
(Okay, nooooow he gets it.)
Me: Would you like to have Mini-Wheats for dessert instead of ice cream? Because you can.
Me: Okay then.
Him: ...Can I have some ice cream right now?
Oh, transitive property, why have you forsaken me? If breakfast equals Mini-Wheats and Mini-Wheats equals ice cream, then breakfast equals ice cream. I have a feeling somebody's going to do better in math than I did.