Guess what somebody Googled the other day, the parameters of which brought them straight to my blog? Go on, guess. No, wait, you’ll never guess.
“How to fuck a squash”
I kid you not. And Food on the Food was number 1 out of 731,000!!! Hmmmm. I guess that’s what I get for being so loose with the four-letter words on my blog.
Really, guy, I’m sorry to disappoint you with my paltry information on the subject, but if you’re that determined, I’m pretty sure you can figure it out for yourself. Might I just suggest, however, that sex with an actual person is probably a whole lot more satisfying than sex with a vegetable. Though having not had sex with too many vegetables in my time, maybe I’m not the best person to ask. It’s just that squash tends not to be all that…animated. Usually. But I guess we’ve all had our dry spells. So, anyway, roasting it is probably better than raw, I’m guessing (maybe 400°F for an hour?). That should also make it easier to cut the hole. Letting it cool a bit is a good idea. (Men, let me know if I’m way off. I don’t know what you all do in your spare time.)
I’m really surprised this never came up in our squash usage brainstorm last winter.
Anyway, for those of you who came here looking for something slightly less pornographic, here’s something better you can do with your extra squash. Something very good, actually, from a blog you should know about. Something that will hopefully erase any mental images of violated gourds.