That's what I said when I saw the deer in our backyard on Christmas Day and gathered the children to see. Husband threw a sharp glance my way, as if to say it was no wonder I never landed a children's book deal. Santa abandoning one of his reindeer? A lost and lonely reindeer that can't find his way back to the North Pole? Kids love that kind of plot tension. They love it so much that they cry themselves to sleep at night. Or worse, they can't sleep at all. Then Santa never gets the "all clear" to come down the chimney at night so when the teary-eyed children finally slump their way downstairs at sunrise and turn their bloodshot gaze toward the tree, they'll find no presents under it at all. Well done, Tammy. Thanks for ruining Christmas for years to come!
Dude, reindeer totally know their way back to the North Pole, I tried to convey to Husband telepathically in my return glare. They do this thousands of times. They have mad homing skills.
Thousands of times? Husband wants to know what I think the average life expectancy of a reindeer is. Especially reindeer with off-the-charts occupational hazards.
I have no idea what the average life span of a reindeer is, but I figure the sky's the limit for "magical, flying reindeer." Flying reindeer that surely have GPS capabilities. And let's not underestimate the effectiveness of dead reckoning. There was still plenty of snow on the ground to bang out some quick calculations with its hooves.
Husband made a strong mental suggestion that I not use "dead reckoning" and "reindeer" in the same sentence in front of the children on Christmas Day. Sounds like some kind of reindeer apocalypse.
But then the 11YO interrupted our silent staring contest to say, That's not a reindeer, it's a white-tailed deer.
Yeah, Mommy, said the 8YO. That doesn't even look like a reindeer.
I shot a smug look at Husband as if to say, See, everything's fine! Which, judging by his look of disgust, he must have interpreted as, Reindeer, white-tailed deer—either way it's venison for dinner!!
Oh well. At least I got the last word.