Husband is a bit of a comic genius. He's especially good with voices and has several in his repertoire, including Maniac Mushroom Hunter. That's me, in case you couldn't guess. I went through a long mushroom phase, which I may or may not still be in, and he could barely tolerate it. The voice he so lovingly crafted is distinctly male and that of a dim-witted but insufferable college professor chastising anyone who will listen about the crucial differences between a hen of the woods and a chicken of the woods. The kids love that voice so much, they often request a performance before bed. I just roll my eyes and correct all of his mushroom misinformation as he goes along. That only encourages him.
While on vacation down the Cape, Husband came up with a new voice. And this time, it didn't have anything to do with me. We were traveling down Route 6A in Dennis when we passed a spot called Captain Frosty's. Now I've never been inside Captain Frosty's nor have I sampled their menu offerings, but the imagined Captain Frosty is now a fan favorite. Imagine a fierce but wistful pirate well into his golden years who fell into the restaurant business once he became unfit for plundering. The character bears some resemblance to one Mr. Krabs, except less ambitious and not an actual crab. He has a way with the fish 'n' chips, but he's having trouble changing with the times. He can't afford to hire help and sleeps in a cot in the back.
Here's a sampling from Captain Frosty (be sure to use your best pirate voice!):
Captain Frosty here, yar! Come for me fish 'n' chips, stay for the soft-serve.
It's so hot in here, even me peg leg is sweating.
Ye don't have exact change? I'd tell ye to walk the plank, but it was repossessed last month.
Periodically throughout the trip, such as on our whale watch, Captain Frosty would emerge to comment on the present state of affairs:
What kind of a whaling expedition is this without me harpoon?
Even when we got back from vacation and I was suffering from intestinal distress, Captain Frosty resurfaced:
I hear there's trouble on the poop deck. Captain Frosty can help!
One thing you can count on with Husband's voices is that, no matter how innocuous they may seem at first, they'll eventually be used to torment his wife.