A Feast for Bros

I'm too busy crumpling up my manuscript pages and flinging them in disgust to write a proper post, so here's something else. It's an actual e-mail exchange between Husband and one of his good friends, both of whom I'm quite sure have played their share of Dungeons & Dragons at one point or another.

For fans of George R.R. Martin, I offer you this:

8/30/12

R,

This is no jape. I saw your smallclothes, chased in gold and dagged with crimson velvet, upon a gelded destrier as he was eating a feast fit for the Merling King: river trout roasted in almond milk, stuffed with figs.  He was on his way to the Street of Silk.

Ser C


8/31/12

Ser,

As usual you are playing the fool, and you are undoubtedly festooned in the motley common to that of a court jester.  Will you not caper about like a softheaded numbwit for our amusement?

On the morrow I shall be dining on garlic-rubbed garron, spitted and roasted, with much grease popping in the fire. You, ser, shall be supping on a thin soup of carrot and onion, with nary a rasher of bacon to be found at the board.

I expect you'll be sotted in a Fleabottom brothel as usual, your manhood festering with pus and foul odors.

Lord R

Wow, Lord R is quite the charmer! I wonder who his lucky lady is?

Comments

[ellen]

rightey OH, that's bloody hillarious men. bravo!! *snort* ...oh dear. forgive mineself.

[jo]

LOVE! IN fact...we are in the midst of plotting a class called "Dinner is Coming"....as some of us are all obsessed GoT geeks.

[Ser C]

There is, in fact, a Game of Thrones Cookbook. Let me know when you'll be serving whole roast boar coupled with a sweet Arbor vintage and we'll be by. Ser R and I can discuss the merits of saltwives and squiring the sons of our enemies while the ladyfolk serve.

[Tammy]

Ser C: So there is: http://www.randomhouse.com/book/217995/a-feast-of-ice-and-fire-the-official-game-of-thrones-companion-cookbook-by-chelsea-monroe-cassel-and-sariann-lehrer