My, my, my, would you look at that? A whole week has gone by since my very exciting collard greens post. What the hell have I been doing with myself, you might ask? Well, I can tell you what I haven't been doing. I haven't been spending all of my time in the woods looking for morel mushrooms. Nooooooo. Of course not. I haven't been looking under every apple tree, dead elm, and rotting stump in a 20-mile radius. No detailed topographical maps of local conservation land have been printed out and plastered across my office wall. No private strategy meetings have been called with myself, or Googling of terms like "forest fire Massachusetts 2010" just because morels tend to like burny places. Don't be silly.
Another thing I haven't been doing: driving around various neighborhoods scouting out logs for my cultivated mushroom garden. I definitely have NOT been knocking on strangers' doors, harassing them about the status of their woodpiles and haggling over prices that are anything more than free. Are they SURE the logs are oak and not maple because maple really doesn't work as well for shiitakes? Also, how long ago were they cut? Because it actually matters. You don't remember? Think! THIIIIIIINK!!!
And I certainly haven't been making little mushroom sculptures out of rocks as placeholders for where actual mushrooms should be.
I mean, do you know how hard it is to get two rocks to balance on top of each other like that? With the wind and the wild turkeys tromping all over them? What a ridiculous waste of time.
At least that's the story I'm telling Husband.