While Everyone Else Was At Church

On Sunday morning, I had the urge to open all of the windows and clean the kitchen.  My manic cleaning binges are few and far between, so it’s best just to give me a box of steel wool and stay the hell out of my way for a few hours.  As I was organizing the out-of-control recycling situation, Husband dared to walk in:

Me: Hey, let’s concentrate all of the empty beer bottles over here instead of piled up on the windowsill like we’re a couple of college kids.

Him: (No response.)

Me: Is that a yes?

Him: (Clasps hands together, squeezing, to make an unmistakable farting sound)

Me: What was that?

Him: This is how I say ‘yes’ from now on.  (Repeats farting sound)

Me: …

Him: One for yes, two for no. (Demonstrates the two-fart signal)

Me: I’m sorry, but I’m not going to agree to a fart-based communication system.

Him: Why not?

Me: Do I even need to answer that?

Him: I don’t like that you don’t respect my way of expressing myself.

Me: Can we pleeeeaaase act like adults?

Him: (fart! fart!)

Of course we can’t.

Comments

[Amy]

Attempting to clean and being part of this conversation is a gazillion times better than going to church.

[Jessica]

especially funny today...

[yasmin]

i don't know what's better, this story, or the way you wrote this story. either way: hahahahhahah!!!!!

[NurseJen]

At least he's sticking with the "college kids" theme...

[megan]

funny... I laughed a little...

[andrea]

The best part is that your children get to look up to him. Thank goodness for role models.

[geek+nerd]

At least he doesn't resort to communicating with REAL farts like my husband, HA!

[Pickledbeets]

My husband does this (both real and fake) as well. Must be a testosterone thing. Needless to say, he finds "Terrance and Phillip" of South Park quite amusing.