Back when I bought my wigs, the nice lady who was helping me explained how to care for them, including a laundry list of things I shouldn’t do while wearing said wigs, like blow-drying (no worries, why start now?), glass-blowing, blacksmithing, and cooking. The way she said the last one reminded me of when I was pregnant and my doctor instructed me to avoid marathon-training, heroin, the clap, and all soft cheeses, to which I replied, “Let’s not be ridiculous.”
Now, as then, we needed a little question and answer period:
Me: Okay, so how close can I get to the flames before the wig actually ignites?
Her: Just don’t put your head in the oven.
Me: So this is more of just a common sense warning.
Me: And the soft cheeses?
Her: Totally fine.
I think what she actually meant to say was don’t get your plastic hair anywhere near boiling hot steam at any cost unless you want your previously natural-looking bangs to look like some teased and hair-sprayed nightmare circa 1986.
Oh, well. They say the eighties are coming back, right? God help us all.