By now I’m sure we all know that the four food groups most of us grew up with are obsolete and have now been replaced with a nutrition "pyramid." Yes, the USDA has gone all trigonometric on our asses. Their reasoning: not all food groups are created equal. Some are more equal than others.
I can’t understand this new food pyramid, though. It has all these stripes running from top to bottom that look more or less the same in size. I mean, if you’re going to use a triangle to illustrate your point, then at least take advantage of what a triangle has to offer. The opportunity to discriminate. Put the larger stripes on the bottom and the smaller stripes at the top. Otherwise, you might as well have just added a couple of boxes to the original four-square diagram and called it a rectangle. Or, better yet, just use a circle and cut out pie slices because that’s all we’re going to eat anyway. Pie.
I prefer the previous version of the food pyramid, myself. It’s more intuitive.
I don’t have a nutrition degree, so I can’t vouch for its accuracy, but then accuracy’s not very important to me. Mostly, I just like the way delicious, bulky carbs fill out the wide foundation. Then come the (local) fruits and vegetables to shore up the middle. Dairy and meat taper off towards the top. And fats and sugars glisten threateningly at the apex, like the pointy end of an insulin needle. It’s maybe not the exact order I would have put things in, but then the USDA has PhDs and shit.
Anyway, I bring this up because something went horribly wrong with the food pyramid that the Kindergartener brought home from school yesterday. If by wrong I mean very, very right. It takes a while for new information to trickle down to the public schools, so they’re working off the old pyramid. Can you spot the problem?