How the Kids Really Eat: Part 1

Sally over at Tip of the Iceberg recently asked if the kids really eat what I make.  As I started responding to her comment, I realized that it was long enough to be a post and so maybe I should do that instead.  And that’s when the trouble began. 

After writing about 10 pages on the subject, I started to wonder what happened to my ability to summarize things.  It’s a yes or no question, Tammy.  Do the kids eat your food or not?  Well….um…you see…HOLY CRAP, what’s that thing over there?  That thing that flew behind the other thing?

It’s been three weeks and I have yet to write a coherent post about it, and certainly not an entertaining one.  But the subject of feeding young children keeps coming up, so I might as well come clean lest you think that the kids, in their freshly pressed knickers, arrive in the kitchen proclaiming, “Eggplant again, Mother?  Why, I’d be delighted!”

My mealtime philosophy is a mix of tough love, common sense, bribery, and, most importantly, stubbornness.  My own.  For if you have stubborn children, there’s a 50% chance they got it from you, and now’s your chance to show them how it’s really done.

Our Dinnertime Rules are as follows:

1. We all sit down together and eat the same thing.*
2. If you eat all your dinner, you get to have dessert.**
3. You don’t have to eat all your dinner, but you’re not getting anything else until breakfast.***
4. You do have to eat one bite of everything on your plate to be excused.****

*If you think I’ve never broken down and thrown frozen French fries and Gorton's delicious fish tenders (regular batter) into the toaster oven, then you’re crazy.  I have.  More than once.  I’m not a robot.  But by and large, we eat the same stuff.

**“All your dinner” sometimes morphs into “most of your dinner” which then seems to morph into “only two bites” after a while.  I don’t know how this happens, but I suspect Husband is involved.

***Seriously, though, why would you eat your squash if you know you can have a bowl of your favorite cereal right before bed instead?  (Mmmmm, GoLean Crunch!!!)

**** Ask yourself what your threshold is for torture before you attempt this.  Your kids will make you pay.  Luckily, I’m a glutton for punishment.

Did you notice how I didn’t answer the original question?  I’ll be writing several more exciting posts on the topic this month, plus an honest update on how it’s all been working out.  If you have any specific questions, leave them in the comment section and I’ll try to address them.  Please keep in mind that I’m not a nutritionist or any kind of expert on anything really.  This all falls under the realm of “opinion.”  Still, I have some pretty strong opinions about it because I love food and I want my kids to love food, too.  YOU WILL LOVE FOOD, DAMNIT.

More soon.

Comments

[Phantom Scribbler]

Ahh, in the interest of "know your audience," I probably ought to warn you before you start that you have at least one reader who could have saved an awful lot of money spent on feeding therapy if strong opinions were really enough to make *all* kids love food. There's picky and stubborn, and then there's what Alice is talking about, and worse. I've been at worse. It involves making a lot of trips to Children's Hospital, and it is teh no fun at all.

[amandalouden]

this is really funny!

[NurseJen]

I was one of those kids who always got full really, really quickly, and then was hungry again 2 hours later. Used to infuriate my dad, who would ceremoniously scrape my plate into the garbage with the stern admonition, "Don't think you can eat two hours from now. You aren't a bird!"

Of course, two hours later when I was hungry I'd get something from my mother, with her warning to my father "You can't starve the child! That's abuse!"

I still eat like that: little meals every two or three hours. Except my palate has become vastly more discriminating...

[Sally]

Hee! Welcome to the world of parenthood Tammy. This is the same tack I took with my daughter. She went through high school only eating cereal - literally! If it's any consolation, they do grow up and grow out of their "ewwwwww" stage. Patience, my dear. Patience.

[sunny12]

I would always eat anything under the sun as long as my mother hadn't made it :)

[Molly]

I have similar rules for the table with my preschooler and toddler. They work quite well and the kids do quite well with them, though to make them work sometimes I have to actually spoon-feed to get the children to eat. Preschooler gets too interested in other things (like the candles on the table, or telling us about her day, or how much she likes Cinderella--which is great, but not conducive to eating). I, luckily or so far, have not had a very picky eater. Preschooler did go through a short period of just eating crackers and cereal and still does not like different textures together in the same bite (understandable). But, they eat a variety of food and most of what I cook. However, I do cook differently now that I have children that eat food. I do try to accommodate their tastes and include some food/vegetable with each meal that they will definitely like--corn, broccoli, potatoes, applesauce, etc.
Thanks for your post. I like your ideas.

[Tammy]

Molly: Very good point about how you change the way you cook when you have kids. I really try to make sure that at least two of the things on their plates I know they like. That way they don't feel under assault and I don't feel guilty.

Sunny12: Perhaps that's what's in store for me in their teenage years!

Sally: I don't expect them to love everything I make. Even I don't love everything I make. I just want to set some reasonable expectations in my own house (is that naive?).

NurseJen: Little meals are supposed to be healthier, right? You were way ahead of your time.

Amandalouden: It's hard to write honestly about parenting styles. Everyone gets so touchy about it (including me). Glad you saw the humor.

Phantom Scribbler: Certainly doesn't sound like any fun. Sorry you had to go through that. I can only speak from my own experience with one good eater and one picky, willful child. Of course, there are always extremes. My approach isn't one-size-fits-all, that's for sure.