Bicycle Update

You may be wondering how my quest to obtain a free bicycle is going.  Quite poorly, actually.  It would seem that free, brand-new bikes on the sidewalk aren’t something you see everyday.  So, I’ve been toying with the idea of engaging in some kind of “monetary exchange.”  We don’t really have a bicycle line item in our budget, though you could argue that it would pay for itself with the gas we would save.  But that assumes I would actually ride it with some kind of regularity, of which there are no guarantees. 

So, for the past week, I’ve been scanning the ads on Craig’s List.  I know other people who have had fantastic luck with online classifieds, but my experience has been that the sellers are often crazy or liars or both.  Like the time I drove further out of my way than usual only to be shown something completely different:

Me: You do realize that this bears no resemblance to the picture in the ad? 

Him: Were you looking for something with those exact features?

Me: Um, yes!  That is indeed why I’m here.

(On the bright side, I didn’t end up getting bludgeoned by the crazy liar and dumped into the river, so I guess all’s well that ends well.  )

Still, Craig’s List, your appeal cannot be denied.  Before I knew it, I spied a very cool yellow bike that was priced to sell (though still out of my range).  It beckoned me with a force that could not be ignored.  Here’s how my e-mail exchange with the seller went down.

Me: Hi there.  I love the bike you have for sale.  It's surely worth what you’re asking, but, sadly, I don't have $[redacted] to spend.  In the event that other potential buyers don't work out, please keep me in mind.  My negotiations come with a homemade pie (or cookies, if you're not really a pie person).  P.S. I am not a crackpot.

Her: Thanks, I’ll keep the baked goods economy in mind.  I do have someone coming to look at it this evening and tomorrow a.m.…Perhaps I should warn them to wear a little apple and cinnamon cologne for the visit.

Me: They should!  Although the smell of cold, hard cash is tempting, too.

Her: I’ll let you know what happens…

Me: I'll be waiting!!

After a few days, I heard back.

Her: So what price were you thinking?

Me: I might be able to scrape together $[redacted], which is probably insulting.  But, don't forget the pie!!!  Pies are priceless.  Although all this weekend I was suffering from pie performance anxiety.  Like what if I suddenly can't make a pie under pressure.  I'd have to make two and taste one first just to be sure it was good (not a problem--I love pie).  But if it sucked, I'd have to keep making more until I got it right.  But then after the 14th try, I'd probably just give up and hand over a substandard pie, then pedal away as fast as I could yelling, "There's your sucky pie, suckers!!!"

…Hmmmmm, I guess the crazy one is me this time!  (Note to Tammy: one doesn’t need to share one’s neurotic, unedited thoughts when corresponding with complete strangers.)  Needless to say, I am not in possession of that bike.  My negotiating skills, it would seem, could use a tune-up.

Comments

[NurseJen]

Do you have a Freecycle community up by you? (http://www.freecycle.org/) You likely won't get a brand-spankin' new bike, but you can post (after offering something) to see if someone is getting rid of one.

[Alecto]

Hmmm... outloud voice causing trouble? We're supposed to keep that stuff in our head, yes?

[Jess]

If more of us talked about pie anxiety, we'd be a healthier planet. Mind you, I avoid pie anxiety by never trying to make pies.

[Joey]

Wasn't that a Mel Brooks movie ... "Pie Anxiety " ???

[Tammy]

Joey: That's right! Wasn't Cloris Leachman the pie?

Jess: Pie anxiety and pie avoidance are probably the two most common psychological disorders in the culinary world. I'm glad we can finally talk about them.

Alecto: Yes, we are. And for good reason. Luckily, the seller was very cool and gave me some tips on finding a good, cheap bike. In exchange, I promised to remember to take my meds.

NurseJen: Thanks for the tip! I'm checking it out.

[Trev]

Keep in mind that a large portion of bikes on craigslist are unfortunately stolen. I've had friends who have seen their stolen bikes turn up on CL within 24 hours.

[Tammy]

Trev: Really? Those bastards! (So, you're saying I should eliminate the middleman and just go out and steal a bike myself?)