Bet you didn’t know that I was this close to being on the CBS Evening News last Saturday. And not for any crimes of passion, either.
You wouldn’t have known because I wasn’t going to tell anyone until after it had aired, when I could determine how much of an ass I had made out of myself. But, as luck would have it, Ted Kennedy suffered that seizure, which, I suppose, is bigger news than a New England family eating locally. He’s okay, by the way. In case you didn’t hear.
The local eating story was based on the same piece they had taped for the CBS Early Show back in September, which got cut. Which then got picked up by the Evening News months later, and then promptly cut. So when I got the word that it was slated to be on again in a mere four hours, I need not have panicked like I did. Rather, I should have waited patiently for it to be cancelled again two hours later.
But that’s not the funniest part. When my piece was sitting there on the cutting board, but before I knew about Kennedy’s affliction, I had joked to the CBS producer about how the Kennedys are always trying to hog the media spotlight. How they will stop at nothing to out-tragedy each other. Did you know that people LOVE Kennedy jokes? Especially here in Massachusetts. Was there something else? Oh yeah, I had forgotten that the CBS producer herself was a Kennedy. And you wonder why I don’t like to leave the house.
Needless to say, I don’t think that piece is EVER going to run now!
*laughing* aye aye aye. I would love to know if it ever does air. I could give two shits about him having a stroke. I know. I'm a horrible person. Heh.
Posted by: melissa | May 20, 2008 at 12:24 AM
That is the funniest thing I have ever heard! Or maybe it's that you have super powers. You're the magic bullet, aren't you?!
Posted by: Heather | May 20, 2008 at 12:27 AM
To be fair, we PR people are pretty overrated.
Posted by: Retainers start at $15k/month | May 20, 2008 at 06:43 AM
Man this has got to stop! This is delaying my being "discovered". At 6......ahem, I mean 49, I only have about 15 or 20 good "leading Man" years left!
Posted by: Dad | May 20, 2008 at 11:23 AM
Oh man! I would have loved to see that piece. It's amazing the hard work that can go into a piece, only for it to end up on the cutting room floor in newtwork TV.
Quite different than my world of public access television where EVERYTHING gets played.
And the Kennedy comment? HILARIOUS!
Posted by: Lizzie | May 20, 2008 at 01:52 PM
Of course your fleeting moment of fame, forgettable as it would certainly have been, is more important than a man dying of a brain tumor. Indeed.
Posted by: DocChuck | May 20, 2008 at 06:01 PM
DocChuck: So, we agree, then.
Lizzie: Yeah, two days of shooting for a 45-second spot. Or 0 seconds, as the case may be.
Dad: Let's hope you get discovered soon. This luxury lifestyle you require is getting increasingly difficult to provide.
Retainers: I'm sorry you feel that way as you were my first choice.
Heather: Yeah. Be careful. Don't cross me.
Melissa: If it ever does air, I'll personally call you to let you know.
Posted by: Tammy | May 20, 2008 at 07:58 PM
Just to butt in, Doc, when Tammy wrote this post it appeared that Senator Kennedy was okay - was being reported that it was "only" a seizure, not a stroke. This fact was being reported positively, as in "whew, it wasn't a stroke."
So I think that's what the news was when Tammy wrote this post.
Posted by: Susanna | May 20, 2008 at 08:00 PM
ALERT: Yes, Susanna is right. At the time of posting, news was "Just a minor seizure. Prognosis good. Nothing to worry about." Current news is "Not a minor seizure. Prognosis BAD. Be very afraid." My apologies for what now seems like very poor taste. Timing is everything.
Susanna: Can I offer you a job?
Posted by: Tammy | May 20, 2008 at 09:04 PM
in lieu of payment, send lemon cream.
Posted by: Susanna | May 20, 2008 at 10:05 PM
One rarely has a siezure of that magnitude without a very serious underlying reason.
No one claimed he was "OK."
Thus, the original missive exceeded the bounds of human decency. Even I found it profoundly distasteful and that is quite telling.
Posted by: DocChuck | May 21, 2008 at 08:49 AM
DocChuck: If I offended even you, then at least there's a silver lining to my gaffe.
Susanna: Consider it done.
Posted by: Tammy | May 21, 2008 at 11:40 AM
And people ask why I don't read fiction - you can't make this stuff up! Too funny.
Posted by: Katrina | May 29, 2008 at 12:02 PM