The Preschooler is such an earnest little guy, yet he still manages to freak me out sometimes. Grab some popcorn and let’s watch:
Him: What are those things called?
Me: What things?
Him: They’re people.
Me: Uh-huh.
Him: They look just like us, but they’re brown.
Me: …Uh… (oh, god)
Him: Sometimes they sing. Like in Shrek.
Me: …Urgh… (we’re not in public, are we?)
Him: And you cook them and eat them?
Me: … (oh, shit, what have I been teaching this child?)
Him: Wait, I know. Gingerbread men!
Me: Oh, thank god.
Him: Can we make some?
Me: Yes! RIGHT NOW. I don’t care if it’s March.
Turns out the only racist in this family is me.
AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Posted by: melissa | March 01, 2008 at 04:56 PM
White guilt is hilarious. :D
Posted by: Heather | March 01, 2008 at 08:27 PM
I love your take on life!
Posted by: Mary | March 02, 2008 at 01:58 AM
Mary: Thanks for the vote of confidence!
Heather: At least we weren't in public -- I'm not good in high-pressure situations. I could just see myself leaning over toward the nearest African-American and whispering, “I don’t know what he’s talking about. We don’t really eat you.”
Melissa: Yeah, you laugh now, but someday...
Posted by: Tammy | March 02, 2008 at 08:59 PM
You'll totally have to explain where their house went though!!! (Don't let the preschooler check the brush pile!)
Posted by: Deanna | March 02, 2008 at 09:24 PM
I have a stitch from laughing too hard. And the mad hippie engineers came to investigate, so you may have gained a few new readers.
Posted by: Adele | March 02, 2008 at 09:44 PM
At least he wasn't standing in the middle of the grocery store loudly declaring "Mommy! I know what a lesbian is!"
Oh, my poor mother.
Posted by: Jess | March 03, 2008 at 10:15 AM
At least he didn't want to make "peacockers!"
Posted by: Kim | March 03, 2008 at 05:18 PM
Your racism is making me hungry.
Posted by: Fish Sauce Hater | March 04, 2008 at 03:37 PM
Hater: Care for some Samoas?
Kim: It's only a matter of time.
Jess: At least you let her off the hook for an explanation!
Adele: I'm fond of engineers. Come one, come all.
Deanna: I'm ashamed to admit that it's still on top of the refrigerator. But Husband says not for long.
Posted by: Tammy | March 04, 2008 at 04:30 PM
This made me roar with laughter.
Thank you!
Posted by: Cottage Smallholder | March 05, 2008 at 07:52 PM
Best laugh I've had all week. I love it!
Posted by: Bri | March 05, 2008 at 10:01 PM
If I were ever to start a racist food blog, I think its title would be, "Sometimes they sing, like in Shrek."
Posted by: Fish Sauce Hater | March 07, 2008 at 10:56 AM