We Interrupt this Hangover…

Hey, did you know it’s 2008? 

If you don’t have a resolution, yet, let me make one for you: Don’t waste cheese. 

Ever.

Sounds simple enough, no?  So, why are you just sitting there with the lights off and an icepack on your forehead when there are various cheeses in your refrigerator getting moldier and moldier by the second?  I mean, even moldier than they’re supposed to be. 

Get up.  Yes, now.  Go downstairs and spread out all of your cheese on the counter.  Maybe you have some leftover Great Hill Blue or Westfield Farm Capri or Old Chatham Camembert from the local cheese plate you recently put together.  Perhaps, you were also seduced by a Spanish Idiazabal.  So sue me. 

But don’t feel limited to the snobby cheeses.  Got some sketchy cream cheese?  The middle is probably still good.  Monterey jack?  Polly-O string cheese (that shit lasts forever and it kind of freaks me out)?  You'll want about a pound of cheese in all.  Get out your food processor and throw it all in there in big hunks.  Then…

Peel three or four cloves of garlic by wacking them with something (your throbbing head works).  Throw those in.  Grab that uncorked, half-drunk bottle of white wine that was abandoned in the dining room and pour a bunch in (maybe 5 glugs?).  Grind fresh black pepper over the top until it seems like way too much.  It’s not.  Then pulse.  Pulse until it goes from watery to creamy, but it’s still kind of chunky.  The consistency might remind you of something, but I’m not going to say it because this is a classy blog.

Scoop this unholy concoction into several oven-tolerant ramekins or mini casserole dishes, then freeze.  The next time you have unexpected guests, just pop one into the oven until bubbly and starting to brown.  Serve with crusty bread.  You'll be so glad you did.  There, don’t you feel better?

Okay, fine, go back to bed. 

Comments

[sam]

that's a great idea - do you think it will work with flat champagne and stichelton? I am going to try it right now...

Happy New Year!

[Maggie]

Best idea ever! I have stilton and cheddar and brie and parmasean... oh my!

[Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah]

I think I might be falling in love with you.

Or possibly it is just the cheese.

Also - Polly-O freaks me out too. I feel better knowing I am not alone.

[Tammy]

Sarah: No, that was definitely me you were falling in love with. (God, it's about time somebody fell in love with me around here.)

Maggie: I'm afraid the credit for this goes to one Jacques Pepin. He thinks he's so great.

Sam: Now that I just googled Stichelton, I can pretend that I knew what it was all along. Go for it!

[n\]

That is a great idea!! Jaques Pepin and you both rock. Happy New Year to you and yours.

[Bri]

I'm a little skeptical, Tammy. Does all that cheese together, really taste good? I know how amazing Parmesan goes with white wine in my risotto...so maybe this is a fabulous idea and I just have to try it out.

[megan]

Great post, great idea!!
Can't wait to try it.

[Kim]

Mmmmmmm...cheeeese!

[Kathy]

I just wanted you to know that I made your Anginettes from Cookbook Friday over Christmas. They were delish! Hope your holidays were good (sans the hangover).

[Mary]

That sounds really delicious. Unfortunately I'm many many miles from good cheese, but if I ever have any leftovers I'm doing this with it!

[Tammy]

Mary: It might also work with deli meats. Bologna. Olive loaf. Not sure.

Kathy: So glad you liked them! Happy New Year!

Megan: I read about this in a Yankee magazine in a doctor's office, and was frantically jotting down notes on a receipt as they were calling my name. Cheese before health, I told them.

Bri: You have the perfect name to weigh in on this. Maybe some cheeses might clash with each other, but I haven't had that problem, yet. I tend to get one stinky cheese and a bunch of other milder ones (goat, triple cream, Parmesan or gouda) for cheese plates, so the only risk is that the stinky one overpowers all the others. That's why I try to keep it chunky. So you get bursts of the other stuff. I love it.

n/: Jacques Pepin keeps trying to push me off the podium. Geez, Jacques, you're not famous enough, already?

[Helen (Food Stories)]

Now that is a really brilliant idea. I'm not so sure about the iffy cream cheese still being good in the middle though!

[Sally]

(lightweight....) OR, you could also add some mayo, maybe some olives or capers and make a cheese spread. (Take THAT JP! ;P)

[Tammy]

Sally: Definitely a lightweight.

Helen: We all have our own standards!

[Alecto]

OK, 1. you've been reviewed on my site as a food blog (as opposed to the other blogs even though you probably ought to have your own category which would be something like: Food, you never knew this could be so funny). and 2. After my sixteen year old daughter read this particular post yesterday and collapsed into hysteria under the kitchen table we did indeed clean out the sketchy cheese drawer and make the cheese concoction which is forever now referred to as WE DO NOT WASTE CHEESE. We had it tonight with tomato soup and fresh bread. It was amazing and we will never waste cheese again. I should also mention that I've got a bit of a garlic problem and should possibly NOT have added an entire head to the mix, but I put in extra wine, so there you go.

[Daisy]

Alcohol poisoning is no laughing matter - that’s why it’s best just to smoke pot (which has an astronomically high LD50 when
compared to alcohol).

[Erin]

I'm hoping this will work with a stringy failed cheese fondue...same ingredients, right?

[Acomplia]

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