So, I have this untested theory (which, I guess, would make it a hypothesis) that people eat the way they read. Not that they eat what they read (geez, are you even paying attention?), but that they apply the same behaviors to both activities.
For example, I eat at a snail’s pace. Someone will be setting the table for breakfast (usually me) and I’m still finishing up dinner (convenient!). That’s also how I read. Slowly and deliberately. No skipping words. No reading diagonally down the page to get the gist. I ruminate. I dwell. If I find my mind wandering, I go back and reread. I take forever to finish a book, if I finish it at all. And if the author is especially good, I’ll interrupt the story to pore over the author bio on the jacket and get jealous. Try to figure out how old he or she is, and why haven’t I written anything good like this. But I’m getting off track.
I like a good story, so I want to make it last. That’s how it is with food, too. Husband can finish a book in the time it takes me to finish a meal. He reads 10 books to my every one, which makes him appear much smarter than me. Mr. Smartypants can also finish a meal and then wash all of the dishes in the time it takes me to finish cutting my pancakes the way I like them (cut the edges off the stack and eat those first, then cut the middle, heavily-buttered part into quarters and eat that last). Which, now that I think about it, makes me wonder what the hell I’m complaining about.
So, I ran my theory by some friends who had us over for dinner, recently. Everyone fell into one camp or the other (really, just one camp — the fast one). Nobody was mixing and matching. My theory seemed to be holding some water. Is four a large enough scientific sampling?
So, I’ll put it out to you, people. Where do you fall? Is anyone a speed-reader, but a slow-eater? Vice versa? I must have seemed a bit too smug as the only tortoise in a room full of hares because my friend piped in, “Yeah, but you do everything slow.”
Touché. Spoken like a true BFF.