Boy, do I owe you a HUGE apology. Here I was thinking you were being all “What a loser,” and “How much of a freak can you be with the donuts?” when, all along, you were secretly plotting the biggest doughnut coup in history.
For a while there, though, I thought your customer service department really needed to work on its communication skills. I mean, I’ve sent more letters than I care to admit about your pitiful excuse for a chocolate honey-dipped doughnut, and the only response I received was, quite frankly, disappointing. But, I can see that I’ve underestimated the Dunkin’ organization. Fueled as you are by nearly illegal amounts of caffeine, you’ve taken the “less talk, more action” approach. I can respect that. I guess my ex-boyfriends were right, after all.
Rachael Ray’s overthrowing of whoever the previous Dunkin’ Donuts mascot was makes a lot of sense. She’s got moxie. Plus, you don’t want people going around thinking that the ridiculous level of perkiness she displays can be achieved by non-chemical means. Good thinking. But, more importantly from my standpoint, she has the skills it will take to lead the mighty crusade to save the doughnuts. If anyone can keep the glaze from soaking right in, it’s her. Who knows what other tricks she might have up her sleeve? Maybe two or three new varieties of chocolate honey-dipped doughnuts? Churros?
Now, that’s what I call customer service. I take back almost everything I’ve ever said about you (but, the sucky doughnut part applies until further notice). Give yourselves a nice pat on the back. And now I have to eat Humble Pie. Do you make Humble Pie? If not, you should. You could even name it after me. “Tammy’s Chocolate Honey-Dipped Humble Pie” has a nice ring to it. That’s it, I’m writing a letter to Rachel.
Your Best Friend,