Paint Chips Are Delicious

Lately, I'€™ve been doing some painting.  Not artistic, watercolor-on-paper type of painting.  I don't have those kinds of mad skills.  No, just the application of a single color onto a few walls in more or less of a straight line.  I'm not skilled in this, either, but with enough "shits" and "goddamnits," the paint eventually sticks.

So, I recently painted both our bathrooms.  I wasn't going to mention it because it didn't seem particularly relevant to the very strict food theme I follow in this here blog.  But, actually, it is.

It all started with a very conspicuous cotton-candy-pink bathroom.  I like the occasional cotton candy served up in a carnival setting, but I never like it on my walls.  I hate pink.  Can'€™t bear it.  And as soon as my one-year-old started pretending like he was going to sleep through the night, I committed myself to trading in those Pepto-Bismol walls for something more along the lines of a cool, refreshing green.  Not cucumber or lime, but maybe...apple green.  That was it. 

Off I went to my local Benjamin Moore supplier, and returned with a variety of delectable paint chips: APPLE GREEN.  PEAR GREEN.  GRAPE GREEN.  DILL PICKLE.  I made myself a little snack, and decided to go with the brightest of the four: APPLE GREEN.  Why not?

Wrong question. 

Neon green, as it turned out to be, is nearly as putrid as the aforementioned pink.  And in the windowless closet that is my bathroom, the effect was disturbing.  As if some secret, radioactive experiment had gone horribly wrong. 

But, since my one-year-old really had no intention of sleeping through the night, then or ever, I had plenty of quality time to repaint.  My downstairs bathroom is now a lovely shade of PEAR GREEN, which is vibrant and airy and doesn'€™t sear my retinas.

On the wall, Benjamin Moore's PEAR GREEN.  In the frame, Robert Spellman's yellow banana.

Moving on to my upstairs bathroom, I decided to veer away from scary bright colors and instead delve into scary dark colors.  Like brown.  That'€™s right, brown in the bathroom.  I live with three boys.  Might as well get used to it.  We narrowed it down to three: CHOCOLATE TRUFFLE.  MORNING COFFEE.  WARM BROWNIE.  Snack break, anyone?  My husband pushed hard for the coffee flavor, and so now I have to take back everything I said about caffeine.  It looks awesome smeared all over the walls.

Benjamin Moore's MORNING COFFEE.  On ice.

Which got me thinking about my kitchen.  Actually, my friend Erin, who knows about all things tasteful, got me thinking about my kitchen and how ugly my cabinets are.  Tactfully, of course.  Why not paint them?  Well, why not.  And while you'€™re at it, a fresh coat of paint on the walls wouldn't hurt, either?  Right, you are.

Six thousand yellow and off-white paint chips later, I've picked a cabinet color.  VANILLA ICE CREAM, naturally.  But, I'm still flummoxed by the wall color possibilities.  While HAWTHORNE YELLOW, WESTON FLAX, and CONCORD IVORY are lovely hues with proper New England names, I'€™m inexplicably drawn to FRESH BUTTER and GOLDEN HONEY.  It seems the only fair thing to do would be: FRESH BUTTER for the first coat, GOLDEN HONEY for the second coat, the same way I take my morning toast. 

Maybe I shouldn'€™t be picking my paint colors on an empty stomach? 

Or should I?  Come to think of it, we painted our dining room a sultry shade of SANGRIA, and I've never looked back.  The living room is LIGHT COCOA.  Our bedroom, SANDCASTLE.  Mmmm, gritty.

This might sound crazy, but have you ever wanted to lick your walls?  If so, I can testify that, under the right circumstances, plaster'€™s yummy.

Comments

[Heath]

That dark brown bathroom is gorgeous. And I thought I would HATE it.

[xsquared]

We just painted our bathroom in "Lime Sorbet". At the Ben Moore store, I have to force myself to choose a color based on the color itself, rather than its lovely name.

[Sally]

I *love* the green, and the banana picture is perfect in there! I'll bet the deep brown is gorgeous with sunlight pouring in. My painting fingers are just itching for my next project - the bedroom. I'm going a deep brown there too. I find painting very calming (when I'm not spilling it). You did a nice job Tammy.

[cookiecrumb]

Paint is hard.

[Sister]

I do, as a matter of fact, have a disturbing desire to lick my walls, especially if something was just sanded and there's a dusty layer of sawdust there. This only happens when I'm pregnant. Additionally, I ate sand, when pregnant, so the next time I'm pregnant I'm coming to lick your bedroom walls which appear to combine all of my favorite things. I also suck at picking paint colors so all of my walls are white. All of them. So, I think I'll go to Benjamine Moore and pick out my favorite foods and see if this solves the problem. Seems to have worked for you!

[Erin]

Boy, that Erin friend of yours sure knows her stuff! The brown is GORGEOUS (nice curtain, by the way, did you sew it yourself?). And, can't go wrong with Pear Green. Hey, is this your house or mine?

[Tammy]

Erin, I shudder to think how I'd be living had you not intervened on several counts.

Sister, I believe that has a name: pica. As in, "Pica-boo, deliciousness. No one else can see you but me." I didn't experience that pleasure during pregnancy, but on any given day I think a tall glass of gasoline might hit the spot if it should taste as good as it smells. It can't possibly, though.

CC, yes. Very hard.

Thanks, Sally, Heath, X2. Lime sorbet sounds yummy.

[Tricia]

I picked one of those New England sounding gold colors for my kitchen walls, and a green. We painted the first coat, I took a step back and yelped - "eek! Harvest gold and avocado green!" We re-painted with primer the next day.