I don’t watch the Food Network.
Or food shows on any other network, for that matter. Rachael Ray? Who’s that? I didn’t even watch America’s Test Kitchen even though I worked behind the scenes and got to carry a bowl of potatoes robotically across the set on camera once.
Part of it is that I don’t watch very much TV period. We don’t have HDTV. We don’t have TiVO. We’re lame.
Another part is that, although some of the shows may be interesting, I find the personalities too annoying. Emeril is annoying. Giada sexing up the camera makes me a little uncomfortable. Bobby Flay makes me want to take the only cookbook of his that I own and, with my crème brûlée torch, ignite it one page at a time. It’s a fine line between entertaining and annoying. If you’re reading this blog, you probably know what I mean.
But the real reason I don’t like to watch food shows is that you find yourself getting very invested in the process of cooking, but you don’t get to participate in the rewards. And the rewards are key. Instead, you get to watch them eat, and then struggle to come up with new and surprising ways to say “delicious.”
What about me? Now, I’m really hungry and I just wasted an hour during which I could have been cooking up something just as good. Okay, maybe half as good and definitely only an eighth as pretty, but the point is I’d be eating by now. And I wouldn’t be mad.