Ask the Pseudo-Chef: Wine Whiner

What do you do when someone, who shall remain nameless, strips the cork on the good wine and you can’t get it out of the bottle on Christmas Day?  Hypothetically.  --Tammy, MA

Self, that is a good question.  Frankly, I had no idea, so I called my local liquor store to find out.  According to Bill Kane, store manager of Gordon’s Fine Wines in Waltham, wine that has spent too much time vertical is at risk of cork stickage.  He didn’t actually say “stickage,” but I think we would all know what he meant if he did. 

Keeping your wine horizontal during storage is important because it keeps the cork wet, flexible, and much easier to remove.  If your fancy-schmancy wine opener fails you, Kane recommends trying a good, old-fashioned, hand-held corkscrew, and putting it in at an angle so you don’t end up tunneling through the existing hole.  If that doesn’t work, try jabbing a paring knife into the cork and twisting it manually (careful with that).  If that doesn’t work, use a clean screwdriver to push in the cork or pieces of the cork (you can always strain them out later) to create a pouring hole. 

If that doesn’t work, and this is me speaking now, you are not meant to drink this wine.  Pour yourself some Scotch and curse the French.

Comments

[Dad]

Isn't that what plastic screwcaps are for?

[jen maiser]

"jabbing a paring knife into the cork and twisting it manually"

See now, that's where there would be trouble in my house, as my best friend recently described me as 'accident prone'. Accident prone? me? http://www.lifebeginsat30.com/jen/2006/12/this_is_a_littl.html

Thanks for your great blog - it's seriously keeping me entertained. And happy 2007!

[Carey]

It never fails - on Christmas - the $100.00 French Cab - and the cork strips, breaks or falls into the bottle. The angle trick usually works. Either way, here is some advice for sifting out pieces of cork from your prized (coveted) possession:

1) If you get the cork out but pieces of cork are left in the wine, pour the wine through a cheesecloth or coffee filter to remove the cork.

2) If the cork is undeniably destroyed, the easiest thing to do is push it in. Pour the wine through a cheesecloth or coffee filter to remove the pieces of cork.

Of course, to avoid embarrassment and a scene over "Le Produit de la Seine," be forthright about it. Involve your guests in the filtration process. Filter it into a measuring cup and pour into a decanter. Make it fun rather than a snafu.