Here are some recent snippets of conversation with a particular four-year old:
Me: Time for potty.
Him: Okay. I’m just going to hold my candy cane.
Me: On the potty? I don’t think so.
Him: No, I’m not going to throw it in the potty, I’m just going to hold it.
As if a potential peppermint floater was the unacceptable part of candy canes anywhere near a toilet.
***
At lunch, I deposited a bunch of grapes I had just washed onto his plate next to his carrot sticks, cheese, and half a peanut butter sandwich.
Me: Here you go.
Him: But…but…I can’t eat those things now. Everything is grape-wet.
Where did he learn to hyphenate like that? When Food on the Food spins off a sister wine blog, I shall dub it Grape-Wet. Which just about sums up my knowledge of the subject.




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