Mmmm...Unexplained Bacon

Yesterday, I found myself in the unusual predicament of having leftover bacon in the house, but no lettuce or tomatoes.  Crap.

Typically, I don’t stockpile lettuce and tomatoes (see Reasons #1 and #2 not to read my blog), so the part that’s the shocker was that there was any leftover bacon at all.  The words “leftover” and “bacon” were never intended to be used together in the same sentence.  This is yet another bastardization of the English language.

I was very disappointed in myself because, normally, I can sniff out pork products from a distance of three miles, even on hilly terrain.  It took those truffle-hunting pigs longer than I would expect to catch on that I was actually after them.  Who says pigs are so smart?

Anyway, since I couldn’t make my beloved BLT, and there was no way I was dragging two hungry, screaming children to the store, I did what any halfway intelligent person would do in this situation. 

I slapped some peanut butter on that bacon.

My husband has been talking about peanut butter and bacon sandwiches for years, even as I mock-vomited at his every mention.  But, I had never actually tried it.  Well, I decided, it’s now or never.

I wish this story had a better climax, but it just tasted like a regular peanut butter sandwich.  No better, no worse.  Well, the texture was a little funky for peanut butter. 

I never realized it before, but peanut butter and bacon have a lot in common, flavor-wise -- maybe, too much.  Rich, salty, fatty.  In fact, it’s entirely possible that peanut butter is actually what bacon turns into on its way from solid to liquid form.  You know, from bacon to peanut butter to bacon fat.  Just a theory.  I’ll have to pay closer attention the next time I cook it.

As for the PB&B, it seems like a waste of perfectly good bacon to me.

Comments

[Yeti]

You made it wrong - you need english muffins and everything should be cooked over an open fire. Also, you need to be camping and desperately hungry because the damned fire took so long to get started. Then it tastes real good!

[Tammy]

Ah, hunger...the best seasoning. Luckily, I'm afraid of nature, so I guess I'm off the hook.

[Tammy]

Not to be confused with off da hook.